


The Shadowed Livery of the Burnished Sun

by TheMonocledMatineer



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst, F/M, Gawd bless him, Graves and Queenie being total bros, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Multi, Mythology References, Onesided!Abernathy crushing, Percival Graves is a sinnamon bun, Post-Movie(s), Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 15:28:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 24,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8922505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMonocledMatineer/pseuds/TheMonocledMatineer
Summary: Four months after the events of fbawtft Tina finds herself trying to piece back the life of one Percival Graves. To find the man behind the persona. But as she finally finds him will she like what she finds there? As her and her friends task themselves with aiding his recovery in their own ways, more of his past comes to light as Grindelwald's supporters use his biggest secret to bring down both him and MACUSA. But even with his life in ruins and all he thought he cherished crashing down around him, he cannot tell them about -her-.





	1. One Man in his Time Plays Many Parts.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Apologies for the crappy summary, this is my first fanfic so you may have to bear with me a bit. The idea came about from a few head canons I wanted to explore, namely
> 
> 1) how Graves would react when he found out how long people didn't know he was missing.
> 
> 2) Graves having an ex partner who he still loved but who he lost contact with after he broke it off as their relationship was illegal and he couldn't jeopardise his career. Fair to say she's going to be integral :3
> 
> 3) Queenie being a major source of support to Graves over his recovery as he struggles to talk about what happened but can't stop experiencing it. So instead of talking she reads his mind as he thinks about it all and just being understood helping him feel less alone.
> 
> But hey-o that's by the by - on with the first chapter! Sorry it's so long, they should be more manageable from here on in.

Tina could never understand how people could inhabit four small walls and not make it an expression of their private self. The part of themselves that existed independently from the gaze of others and possessed all that made them unique. Tina made sure her bedroom reflected that back to her. It was like making her inner thoughts a real physical space. Least that's what she once reasoned to her sister. Queenie had merely rolled her eyes at her sisters desperate attempt to justify why she had spent the last hour rearranging her childhood stuffed toys.

At the time she hadn't quite believed her own rambling excuses but standing here, eyes glazing over her sterile surroundings, those words repeated incessantly in her head. This was the bedroom which Percival Graves did-no, -does- inhabit. _Will do again_ she reminded herself. Someone had to stay positive even if it was just her inner voice.

 

A personal assignment from the President. Her first lead in a high priority case. Hell, just being an auror again!… Then why wasn't she more excited? If it was a new feeling she would put it down to the oppressive atmosphere of the room but ever since she first got the dossier she couldnt shake the feeling in the pit of her stomach which now burned with the notion that she was being fobbed off. But why? She let her mind entertain the thought for once. Normally she pushed it away and put it down to anxiety to justify her reinstatement. The amused look of her once superiors as she gave them her first orders was an image that now haunted every attempt at command. She felt like a child being patronised by her parents who were now letting her play big girl detective and giving her a conciliatory cookie every time she filed a report detailing her adventures in meeting dead ends. At this point she might as well file the same report and just change the date. _No… can't start thinking like that,_ she chided herself. She'll have something for her efforts soon. She had too.

_But we let the leads run so cold_ …

Great, now even her inner monologue was preparing her resignation speech. It had all been so much at once after Graves revealed himself to be Grindelwald. MASCUS had been a hive of overworked and underrested men and women all playing both damage control and going on the offensive against Grindelwald's remaining fanatics. Every possibility, from Grindelwald's imprisonment to defending against retributive strikes and so on was calculated and planned for. And in all that panic he had just been forgotten.

Bile raised up in Tina's throat at the thought. Graves had stood by her and been something of a mentor and it had taken her three days to ask the question, 'what happened to the real him?'. To many at MASCUS he was looked upon with the fearful reverence reserved normally for a god with the power to see into your soul and damn you for what he found there. And standing before him at the disciplinary hearing, that's how she felt too. But as the panel heard her futile arguments and sat solemnly as though she was her own pallbearer, Graves mouth slowly twitched into a small, reassuring smile that encouraged her on. Told her it was all okay even though it wasn't. And it wouldn't be. But that would be okay too as he was proud of her and would stand with her.

Despite it leading to the worst day of her career she cherished that memory, warts and all. It had been her peak into the man behind the image of clinical efficiency. A reassuring hand on the shoulder showed his sympathy after the ordeal. A smile and a kind word in the depths of HQ corridors showed he hadn't forgotten her. It was only ever small gestures, goodness knows she couldn't imagine Graves being forthright in any emotion other than annoyance, but she could see the effort it took for him and it gave her the push to keep going.

But was that even him? What if her glimpse into his true self was just the illusion of compassion from a mad man who sent her to death? 4 months she had been investigating into Graves' disappearance and she couldn't even say how long he had gone missing. She wracked her head going over any changes in his behaviour, but a part from when he had looked at her, cold dead stare and hushed her like a naughty child as she walked off to be executed, she couldn't honestly say she had seen a difference.

As a part of her investigation she had asked those close to him (all only colleagues she noted) if they had picked up anything different. There were slight deviances ('he didn't seem to pay as much attention to the quidditch scores' or 'there was sometimes a slight hesitation when remembering names') but most seemed nothing more than the benefits of hindsight and people trying to save face.

So who was he? If her memories couldn't be trusted, those acquainted with him knew nothing about him apart from his carefully crafted work persona, and the department was giving her nothing to go on then… what next? Standing in his bedroom she became acutely aware of how distant she felt from him, as if she was hunting after a John Doe rather than her boss. She had stood in his apartment many times over the investigation but as her words to Queenie echoed back into her mind she allowed her senses to take in her surroundings. If this was all she had of him then she was going to get the most from it.

The bedroom stood in stark contrast to the rest of the apartment. The living room looked prestige enough to accept dignitaries round for some out of hours dealings while giving the feel of a lived in home of a straight laced wholesome American just so proud to be doing his duty. But this wasn't him, not really. The bookcase displayed tomes of all academic subjects and popular nomaj fiction but the layers of dust gave away their purely decorative purposes. The paintings were of landscapes with no apparent meaning behind the locations, just generic rolling fields and coastlines. The nick knacks were much the same with the feel of expense but no apparent thought put behind their placement or overall theme. The fine spirits used to entertain guests were more proudly on display, decanters spotted about the room as though he had entertained many a man or woman of fine tastes recently.

It was all just too thought out to be real. Like a showroom at a homewares store who sells you an 'ideal' lifestyle with every product. 'Make your home look like this and you too could be head of magical security!'

But if Tina was right and a bedroom was something more personal then why was it so uncomfortable to even stand in? The walls were the simple brick pattern of the building. No pictures lined them to add any colour or style. Come to think of it the furniture was about as non descript as it came, just simple drawers, bare on top except a mirror and a wallet.

His bed, pristine silk sheets splayed out over the bed haphazardly giving the only sign that the room had been lived in. It was a single bed, pressed up close to the far wall under a small pokey window with a big leather recliner next to it. That and the sheets were the only evidence of any concessions towards comfort. There was no indication that he ever had… guests, over. All the clothes were his (all perfectly cleaned and pressed) and there wasn't even a box of contraceptives around. Tina blushed at the very idea of thinking about her boss in such a way, but then again maybe he just wasn't interested in relationships. Or maybe he was a traditional man who wouldn't dare go further than a kiss until matrimony or perhaps he just never brought people to his place. Anonymous one night stands behind a nomaj pub- _no lay of it Tina, you're getting silly again_. But the strange thing was, with how little she knew, they all seemed like equal possibilities.

The room was just for himself then. A space only he inhabited and made no concessions towards maintaining an image for others. A space to populate with all of himself he can't bring to work and he does nothing with it. Just makes it a room to sleep and wake up in. It was spacious yet suffocating, indulgent in some aspects but a prison cell in others and somehow all the more disturbing to Tina than the forced sheen of the living room. She was stripping away at his mask and all she could see was a void. But there wasn't a void there.

If, just if, that was the real Graves at her hearing then there was a warm smile under it all reserved for those who needed one _. I will find him alive_ she promised herself. She still had so much she owed him for. It wasn't fair none of this was fair… She couldn't hold it back anymore, poor sweet Credence, a boss no one cared to worry about and Newt, half way across the world. She needed him right now and his under the breathe words of wisdom he passed off as if they were nothing more inane mumblings.

But it was just her. Graves only had her to rely on and she had to be strong her him. She had learnt things today she reminded herself. I can only be closer to finding him. So Tina did as she always did. She straightened her shoulders and stood as tall as she could. There was something off still about this place and she was going to find it. It was too shallow, a man of his position would have somewhere he could hide in case of emergency.

There was a latent magic in the air but from what? She scanned the room again. The photograph! A single piece of affectation humbly sitting on his bedside table. Unlike the paintings it was something different, its image was that of a dark room. Beyond that she couldn't say as the picture was lit with no obvious light source. It was cold though with a faint breeze creeping from the furthest wall and a deafening silence permeated by only the air whistling through the architecture.

Wait, how did she know that? Tina raised the picture close to her face and stared at it intensely as though the ferocity of her gaze could burn away the darkness and reveal the significance of the singular image. And then there it was. A flicker. She was imaging it surely but then no, another. The scene was moving. It was almost indecipherable but there was a light was intermittently reflecting off *something*. She had a hunch, one founded on desperate hope more than reason but it was worth a shot. Anything was worth a shot.

She raised her shaking hand onto the image and then She apparated. And then she was there. Somewhere, anyway. Magic crackled in the room and she was right, it was cold and there was a breeze. With barely contained excitement and a disregard for secrecy she bounced on the spot at her breakthrough. Success, finally!

The breeze sounded like it did when she glanced at the picture, but now it had a rasp to it. It became more pronounced to the point she put on hold her celebrations. The wind outside must be picking up she reasoned. It sounded like a dementor now, sucking the soul out of the entire building.

Hhhhhhaaahhhh

_… No, it couldn't be._

Hhhhhhhheeh

_No…_

'Hhh-hell-p-p-p'.

Her heart jumped and plummeted all at once. She could never forgot that voice that now strained to produce an even pitifully small sound.

\-------

He was alive.


	2. This Day I Breathed First: Time is Come Round

She would one day recant this moment in vivid detail, eager listeners gathered around with drinks held close as she reals off the tale. Usually it was embellished by the many retellings of the tabloids, the story of the catalyst that set off one of the darkest periods in MACUSA history, but she always tried to tell it as plainly as it happened. No stand off against ten, no twenty, Grindelwald followers, no monologue from the proud director about his gratitude to her. But even with the best of intentions she can't quite admit to the captivated audience that in that moment, she had never felt so helpless.

The moment of famed quick witted, decisive action that saved Graves' life was instead a moment when all thought had left her mind. It was only the second rasp of 'hhhelp' that cut through her panic addled head. Tina tentatively raised her wand in front of her and whispered 'Lumos'.

And then there he was. And just like that her stomach plummeted further than she thought possible as just a few feet away her boss's eyes reflected in the light. Or at least what now passed for his eyes. Pitch black pools gazed intensely back at her but seemingly stared right through her. He was tied to a small wooden chair in the centre of the room. The darkness that encompassed the edges of the walls framed his now meager body.

The room was not as she imagined, she suspected a drab basement but instead they appeared to be in a one room house. It probably looked cosy once but now the dust caked furniture lay scattered on the ground, the walls wrecked with gashes.

"K-ksana..? Ksa-Is that? I'm so sorry…. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry"

"Sir, it's me, Tina. Tina Goldstein. It's okay, I'm here to bring you home", she interrupted. She couldn't bare to hear his pained mantra any more. He silenced as she spoke, mouth now moving as if in flustered response but no sound came.

Tina slowly came closer to where he sat to examine him. His face was gaunt through starvation. Left of his forehead dried blood stained his face, accumulating under his eye where a nasty gash had run though it, although still it remained open and unblinking, looked ahead. Blood and bruises stained his visible skin and undershirt. His right hand was a haggered crumped mass of stained red fingers, twisted in on themselves. But the strangest of all was the bluish gray veins which protruded abnormally from his skin and coloured his lips.

Tina wanted nothing more than to hold him until he came back to himself and so far there was nothing to say she couldn't. His wrists were tied to the arms of the chair with a thick rope, shinning slightly with a ward to keep its prisoner from using any magic. It looked easy to cut she thought, so what was the catch?

"Just… give me a moment sir and I'll get you out of here".

At this point she didn't know if she was trying to reassure him or herself. His mouth stopped moving in a panicked frenzy and he tilted his head back and gazed up at the ceiling. He looked defeated, the effort it took just to raise his head up now straining the tendons in his throat. Graves' Adams apple bobbed up and down in time to his ragged sobs.

Despite her trepidation she focused on her training on what to do in situations like this. The quicker she got out the better. She raised her wand in the air and with a silent spell the light from her wand spread out and in thin strings of luminesce it bathed the once prison and tangled itself around every crevice. Normally a ward or magically placed trap would suck the strands in towards it but now they just danced around the room without aim.

So was it safe or was Grindelwald that crafty? A pained cry from Graves made that thought seem obsolete. She had to get him out. Something had been keeping him alive for so long but whatever it was, it seemed to be on its last legs.

Getting to her knees to the side of him she brushed her palm against his cheek. The reaction was almost instant. He thrashed his head to shake her off, legs kicked out at nothing in particular and hands glowed blue as he tried to muster the magic needed for a wandless spell. She was too far for him to hit and the charmed ropes stopped all attempts at magic but the raged screams were more of a man in the middle of a gladiatorial fight than of the beaten animal he looked.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SICK FUCK. I WONT… I WONT LET YOU!"

Tina jumped backwards, heart breaking at every desperate, raging scream.

"Percival… please it's me Ti-"

"NO. NOT AGAIN. NEVER-I…I know your games…".

He was getting quieter now, not settling just losing the energy to yell. His voice trailed off now as though he couldn't remember what was causing his fear.

" I know… you're not her… she's dead. They're all dead YOU SICK… you… you…". And he went quiet once more, head returning back towards the ceiling.

She had to be quick, she couldn't hear him like this anymore. Tina couldn't let the man she thought unflappable flail around anymore. Seeing him like this felt like such an invasion. I _t wasn't fair, none of this was fair._

She remained silent as to not set him off again. She gathered a knife ( _oh God don't let that be his blood on this_ ) and nipped at the rope on his wrists as gently as possible. She didn't know how he would be when she apparated so the hospital may be a risky option. Even in this state he could still cause some damage and she'd rather have the back up.

_Okay Tina… 3…2…1…_

She grabbed him. It was supposed to be a light restraint to keep his arms still but it ended up more like a reassuring hug. Before his brain could calculate what was happening she had apparated. Adrenaline had taken over, she didn't picture anywhere in MACUSA HQ in particular. She just needed out of here.

On later reflection anywhere -other- than here would have worked.

Tina and Graves crashed with a loud thump, her back taking his weight as she rammed into the wall. Probably didn't hurt as much as her arms did holding tight to Percival's waist.

She was on the floor. How did that happen again? Her eyes screwed shut to slowly reintroduce them to the light. The feeling of the apparation and Percivals elbow in her stomach made her want to hurl. Voices clamoured towards them and she slowly bucked up the courage to see how successful she had been.

"Oh…"

 _You've gone and done it again_.

"Madam President…. Hi."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read the first chapter! Wanted to get something up before Christmas. With a bit of luck we'll have Picquery and Queenie make an appearance next time.
> 
> Have a lovely Christmas and holidays everyone! x


	3. Let Life be Short: Else Shame Will be too Long.

_Zoning out on me again Perce?_

_Hmmm_

_What did I just say?_

_You were complementing me on how good my portrait would look next to all these_

_Hmmm not sure how you got that from you have coffee on your jacket_

_It was implied I'm sure_

_Whatever makes you happy…. Are you ready? Here, let me get you something_

_No I'm fine, thank you_

_Liar_

\------------------------

When they had landed Tina had held to Graves so tightly she felt lucky she hadn't crushed his ribs. She had braced herself for a blast of magic which never came. Instead of the frenzied attempts to destroy every last atom of her being, he had just lain there, eyes scrunched up tight and mouth miming a conversation only he was privy too. But he had some semblance of calmness.

By the time the aurors had assembled to take him away she was almost cradling him like a child who couldn't sleep. At one point she thought he even relaxed into her body.

Tina had protested desperately to be allowed to accompany Graves to the emergency room, but it was to no avail. The aurors had mumbled their polite concern with a barely veiled glee in the sight before them. How the mighty have fallen. How he had _deserved_ this.

But even the most unforgiving amongst them seemed preoccupied with the bluish gray veins that contaminated his body. They rushed his barely moving flesh through the corridor in haste.

"Stop! You're going to hurt him!"

But as they placed searing wards onto his body and raised him upright by the shoulders, it didn't look like they particularly cared.

\---------------------------

_You got the job.… I'm so proud of you_

_I know_

_Idiot_

_Wench_

_Husband_

_Truly the worst insult of them all_

_Hate you_

_Love you too. More than anything_

\---------------------------

"Mr Graves was right, you really are unorthodox".

"I'm sorry ma'am, I guess I panicked"

"I never implied it was a bad thing. Neither did he for that matter".

Tina looked up at the President with tired, sunken eyes and gave the most grateful smile she could manage. It had been a long day… a long four months for that matter. She wasn't quite sure if Madame Picquery showing sympathy was a good sign or not, but she would take it.

The healer finished mending Tina's shoulder and quietly left the room. She had felt so peaceful, finally letting her mind stop after four months of relentless search. She felt tired though, to the point she hadn't noticed the healer removing his hand from her and leaving. She sat there in blissful silence, trying in vain to make this contented solitude last before the inevitable process of rebuilding started.

"I look forward to seeing your report on my desk come Monday"

And like that her peace slipped away.

\---------------------------

It took two days before she was allowed to see him. The hospital wing had been cleared just for him and felt entirely too large for the lying figure before her. The hospital had been one of the oldest buildings in New York made for wizards, the dark mahogany paneling of the walls and a large mural to the healers of the great war combined with all the medical equipment drowned out the man in the centre of the room.

The whole thing looked like a painting, Tina mused. It was certainly as still as one. The only sound and movement came from the healer who fussed about as an overprotective mother would.

Hell, if it wasn't for the Graves family being so revered she probably wouldn't be able to say if she was or wasn't. Tina couldn't help but smile inwardly to herself, if he was awake he would never allow for someone to make such a deal out of him.

"Ah, hello? One of Graves' friends I presume"

The healer was a small portly woman, a little over fifty, eyes examining her from over the top of her spectacles. She had a kind face, she smiled through clear exhaustion and spoke with a husk of a voiced unused for some time.

"Ah, I guess you could say so. I'm Tina Goldstein", she flashed her badge and then extended her hand to shake, which the healer did with some over enthusiasm. "I was the one who found him… how is he?" She wasn't entirely sure she wanted to hear her answer.

"It's difficult to say, his body is a mess the poor thing. Our one saving grace is they seemed to avoided any vitals"

"Purpose or luck?"

She sighed deeply at that one, "I'm just an assistant so you'll have to forgive me if I misspeak, but yes, I believe it was intentional. Take his hand, it's in a bad way but there's some simple stitches there and it's not infected so they clearly tried to keep him alive. The cuts and bruises too, they look painful but most are surface wounds or seem to be aimed at specific tendons"

"D-do…", her mouth was so dry. When did it get dry? " Do they know what's causing the discolouration?"

"Not yet my dear. Current running theory is that it's some magic which keeps its host sustained, which would at least explain why he hasn't wasted away after so long. But…"

"Yes?"

"Well you're the auror, you're better than me and figuring out, this", she tussled her hand in Graves direction, "but it doesn't explain the state of his eyes".

"I got a quick glimpse at them but it was so dark I didn't get a good look"

The Healer deliberated for a second before grabbing Tina's hand and pulling her towards Graves' bedside. He looked better than he had done when she first found him, the blood had been cleaned and his gorged eye was now bandaged. Yet just looking at him now was so difficult. The images of his discovery haunted her every time she closed her eyes, and now looking at him, the smell of his dying flesh and dried blood, and the spine chilling air which pricked at her senses, all came flooding back.

But worse than all of that was this unshakable knowledge that she now thought less of him. The investigation had been her in search of the enigmatic giant of American politics. The man who stood between prosperity and ruin. The iron fist who could lead them through the Grindelwald crisis.

He didn't look like that man right now. He barely looked like a man who would last the week. There was an indignation to it all, how dare he be human. How dare he let himself be captured by the most powerful wizard of his age. How dare he be so easily replaced by a madman who nearly killed her and her friends. Credence was dead because of him and he possibly didn't even know what he looked like. When he awoke would he even care? He had given her no sense of himself which showed he cared about others anymore than he needed to get a job done. Damn him. Damn him for his only human moment being forced out of his as he lay almost as a corpse.

Tina wanted so hard to respect him again, she knew how harsh her thoughts were, but it only took one crack for her hero to crumble before her and leave no semblance of the person beneath. Maybe he really was just like his fancy, pompous living room, designed to manipulate others into respectful reverence.

But as she stood assessing his face, skin draped over his skull in a sick parody of what she once knew, she could still see the reassuring smile of the boss who stood by her through her public humiliation.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the soft hand of the healer on her arm. She talked in hushed tones, aware of not wanting to disturb whatever was tormenting the young girl.

"Look here"

The healer opened Graves' remaining healthy eye between her thumb and forefinger finger. The black that she had seen reflected had been his entire eye, not just a dilated iris. It was like looking into the core of Credence as the Obscurus took over and the black smoke tore through the city. This wasnt so ineffable as an Obscurus however, there was a sliminess to the black pools that twitched violently in response to the light.

"Have…. Have you ever seen anything like this?"

"Never." She let the eyelids fall back close, "but until we get him strong again then it's by the by. The researchers upstairs have been having a field day, never seen Mr Baddiel crack a smile before today. People look at their newborns in less awe!".

She didn't have much of a reply for that one. Damn them too while she was at jt for seeing him as a game.

"Would it be okay if I stay?" Tina asked apprehensively. "I know they're normally strict but-"

"Of course my dear! To be honest I was hoping you would say that. My shift ended 2 hours ago but my replacement hasn't shown"

Relief flooded her, she wasn't sure how she'd settle not knowing how he was. "Any idea why?"

"There's…. Feelings going around about Mr Graves. This is almost considered the punishment shift. I got lippy with the shift coordinator so here I am", she gave Tina a quick wink as if letting her in on this made them co-conspirators. "Daniel should be here now and he's a boozer if ever I saw one so he's probably off his head on gigglewater in some gutter, God bless him."

"Are you sure they won't mind me being here by myself?" She was practically shouting now as the healer dashed to get her coat.

"To be honest with you dear, you'd be considered an improvement over me I'm sure. If you ask me there should be a team in here incase he wakes in a fury but do they care? No sir. You'd think he was some riff raff they found in the street".

"I see". She didn't see. She was also pretty sure the healer was just making excuses now so she could leave. "Um, I have a report to finish do you have a typewrit-"

"Over by the corner sweet, we use it to write up out notes. Just ring the bell if you need anything!"

"Wait!-"

The loud bang of the stately door shut down any further protestations.

\---------------------------

_Kiss me?_

_I thought you'd never ask_

_What did I do to deserve you?_

_Murder most foul I imagine_

_Wife to the Director of Magical Security, has a nice ring to it_

_Ksana…._

_You're wearing too much, love._

_….This isn't right_

_Hey hey, look at me…what's wrong?_

_You're dead_

\---------------------------  
One week later

 

 

"Ma'am?"

Tina poked her head into the President's doorway. She wondered how high up the ranks she'd have to go before Picquery's secretary would believe her when she said she was expected. Still, nothing changing tactics and saying she was making the coffee rounds couldn't handle.

"Ah, Ms Goldstein. Please, take a seat".

Tina had to still her shaking hands and she awkwardly tried to get comfortable on the chair before Picquery's desk. She respected the President to no end but she still couldn't get used to being addressed by her.

"Thank you, any progress on the forensic investigation?"

"The house is on the outskirts of Massachusetts, about 20 miles from Ilvermony, there were chicken remains found around the house and evidence of someone having lived there for some time but not in recent months". She leaned back in her chair, "One week, all just for trivia".

"Well I have my report", placing it like an offering before the alter. "I can get back to it as soon as possible"

"That won't be necessary Goldstein-"

"But!-"

The stare. Oh Merlin, she got the infamous Picquery stare that shut up everyone and their dragon.

"I have something else for you, you're about the only one who seems to well… care… about Graves. You know him better than most". Tina opened her mouth to correct her and thought better of it. Merlin help those who interrupted the President -twice-. "Not to mention his still being with us is all thanks to you. You've dealt with Grindelwald, our interrogators have got nothing from him but his trump card has been taken off the table".

"You want me to interrogate him, ma'am?" She was rather impressed by herself to get that sentence out straight.

"I thought you would like to see this to the end Tina, Graves put trust in you and so I shall too".

"If that even was him…."

Picquery quirked her eyebrow. "He's sung your praises for some time. Well, he called you 'tolerable' and 'half way competent' which is rather high praise indeed".

Tina struggled to keep herself from turning the briefing into a counselling session. But she had failed him, four whole months, not to mention the time before they knew. Even if her image of the man had shattered, Picquery's words brought encouragement which then turned almost instantly into more guilt.

"Don't second guess yourself Tina". Oh Merlin's beard, had she said some of that out loud!? " Grindelwald will see that and feed from it. Keep going forward and we can learn from it when it's all over".

"You mean, you think there's more to come?"

Picquery was the one to divert her gaze that time.

\---------------------------

Much to Tina's surprise Seraphina asked to accompany her back to the ward. She had spent nearly every hour for the last week in that room, writing that report and trying to make sense of what happened and of the man next to her. She still fluctuated between resentment and admiration, all the while praying to whatever was listening that he would get better so she could apologise. And then maybe he would and they could move on from all this. Not that she would admit it to anyone but Queenie but she did daydream at times about them working together again, leading daring missions as equals as he grew to rely on her as she had done on him. But that all seemed so far away now.

True to her word Queenie was sitting dutifully by Graves' bedside. She had visited each day during Tina's vigil and brought her cocoa without fail. Tina had been reluctant to leave his side and so Queenie offered to stay behind and give his unconscious form company.

"He looks peaceful at least", Tina said coming up behind her and placing her hand on Queenie's shoulder which she soon covered with her own.

"You really think he is peaceful?"

"At least let me pretend, sis"

The heavy sigh Queenie let out in response was the only audible noise to echo in the sterile chamber. She rolled her head to the side deliberating whether to tell her.

"His mind is very active". Picquery in particular stared bullets into Queenie as she considered her words. "It's hard to hear, there's so much noise in there, but he keeps playing scenes over and over again. Do you know a Ksana ma'am? She... appears a lot".

The pregnant pause fills in the blanks.

"We went to school together, Graves became an auror, I became a politician and she became a researcher. She… passed away some time ago".

She eyed Queenie suspiciously, almost daring her to get any more information out of her than that.

It was Tina who broke the silence, "I'm sorry Ma'am". She turned to look at her sister, "Queenie, why dont you head home, ill be staying a little while longer. I'm…." _Brave face, Tina._ "I'll be leading the interrogation with Grindelwald and I need to get prepared".

Before Queenie had a chance to reassure Tina that she could remain as long as she needed, Picquery interjected. "I can stay with him, you've both done more than enough", she smiled and spoke with a warmness neither had expected. As they turned to leave it was only Queenie who noticed her stroking Percival's hand.

\-------  
_This isn't real is it?_

_No Perce_

_I miss you. I wish I could tell you how sorry I am_

_I'm not sure how I would respond to that_

_Then just stay, please? Until I have to go. Give me this, please_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote all of this in a day on my phone and now my wrists need ice *sigh*
> 
> Next chapter should be shorter (I apologise now for how long this was), moving onto Grindelwald's interrogation and then the chapter after on Percival waking. 
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone! X


	4. Hell is Empty and All the Devils Are Here.

"Dementors take me now".

"That's the spirit, hun". Queenie sighed with all the enthusiasm of she could muster, which amounted to little more than a sharp exhale of frustration. For three hours they had worked in partnership together to slug through the transcripts of other, much more experienced aurors, previous efforts of getting -anything- of substance from Grindelwald. All attempts had failed, naturally.

"So far I know his favourite spirits and sexual preferences. You?" Tina rolled her head on the palm of her hand, eyes cast downwards towards the desk, as the intense illumination of the lamp lights forced them to keep looking down. The mail room of MACUSA had long been her prison from below the hallowed halls of her now employ. At present the calmness and isolation provided a welcome reprieve that could almost make her forget the impossible task to come. Almost.

"How he decorated his dorm at Hogwarts. Lizard skeletons were all the fashion apparently". Queenie arched her lips upwards in triumph as she finally got a reluctant smirk from her sister. "What's your goal anyway? We have Graves, what more could they want to know?"

Tina shrugged and sighed with theatrical exasperation. "His followers have gone quiet again but there's still remnants about and Picquery has… theories that he's planning something. And I sort of agree. He's so… non chalant in these interviews. He's not acting like a man who has lost anything or one who is getting off and being oh so clever". She waved her hands to emphasise her point, " I think… he's biding his time for something".

Queenie lowered her head into her folded arms on the desk and peered over them, not unlike when she was still a mischievous toddler and would look at Tina from over the dinner table to alert her that she was so bored and needed entertaining. "And is this my sister the auror talking or my sister the avid reader with the overactive imagination?"

Tina could only give an amused huff in response and quirked her mouth in a futile attempt to oppress a smile. Her eyes returned back to the last of the transcripts before her, saving the longest til last so she could take her time with it and hold off her tete-a-te a while longer. Queenie continued to watch her like a hawk having clearly given up on extrapolating any importance from Grindelwald's mostly silent forays out of his cell.

"Don't forget to ask about what magic he's got Graves under - these transcripts are all old. He's probably figured that we have him, what with no one badgering him about it now".

"Yeah I know…. I'm not sure what he gets from telling me though. There's no way I could waver the death sentence".

A comfortable silence resettled itself into the room. It felt natural somehow, the sisters working together again, relying solely on each other again, as they used to, before others had so rudely thrusted themselves into their lives and made their family feel full again and brimming with a new hopefulness towards whatever future was to come. But they weren't here now, and their expanded horizons had shrunken back to their familial bond, although not unchanged. Sitting there, in the familiar surroundings, Tina was struck with how far she had come. She could do this. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, but something!

Her thoughts were broken as Queenie's hand lightly danced over hers before settling to give it a reassuring squeeze.

Tina's eyes remained focused but her lips twisted once more, now into a wide grin. She had long given up how much she was beginning to enjoy this. "Stop reading my mind".

"Stop being so adorable".

She laughed, "Flattery like that can only mean were out of coffee". Tina craned her neck over to the pot, " aaaand voila". She got her wand from her pocket and gave it a quick flick to refill it.

"Percy always did complain about your coffee y'know". Queenie's eyes glimmered as she scanned her sister to see if she was paying enough attention to give her a reaction.

She was. Although it took her a few moments to register that Percy meant Mr Graves. "How… dare I ask how you know this?"

Queenie slammed her hands against the mahogany table with an elation which would have shocked herself if she now wasn't brimming with excitement at finally recanting the tale. "Remember when you were first an auror? Well you used to be so nervous around Graves and he used to be… well, a bit of a grumps, which didn't help." Tina was rather hoping for a nicer story than one of all her previous failings. "So! I stepped up to help my big sis and every morning id get in early to make him his coffee and leave it outside his office. I think Abernathy tried to take credit for it but Graves didn't seem to believe it for a second. He caught me doing it eventually and tried to protest against me-". Queenie cleared her throat to attempt her best Percival Graves impression, '-wasting my time on him', but I could tell it made him happy so I did it when he stayed late too".

"Queenie….. Thank you. I don't know really what to say. Other than you're an idiot to do all that for me".

Queenie stood up to throw her arms around her sister as she rested her cheek on the crown of Tina's head. Her voice, suddenly husky, whispered into her sisters hair, "Just try and help him, please. Sometimes when he had to stay late to finish some reports he would come down and write them next to me. He never said much but he would come down with a fresh pot of coffee and would ask how you were or if I needed anything. I miss him, Tina. I know it's hard to see him as a good man, or even a bad one, but he was my fri-". Queenie took a sharp inhale of breathe to steady her now shaking voice. She raised her head, Tina wasnt sure if this was to stop her from feeling any tears that her sister was fighting to hold back, or a sudden feeling of awkward embarrassment at her near admittance. "I should of known Tina… He never let me read his mind but I still should have known…."

\-----------------------------------------------

Tina had never had the privilege… was that the right word? Misfortune? Sheer horror? What ever she should be feeling about it right now, she had never seen this much security before. He was sitting there.

Him.

He was sitting in a position much the same as Graves, a single chair in the middle of a much bearer, grey room. Head bowed, but in an unsettling contemplation rather than submission. His face looked recently cleaned, the guards must be hiding the evidence of any… physical interventions they had used against him she reasoned. But it did nothing to make him seem weak.

The darkness surrounded around the pale man and where Graves looked small and -consumed- by the shadows, Grindelwald looked like it's master. The black inky tentacles bended to his will to make him look all the more intimidating. It was a prison cell encased in multiple powerful wizards' wards but she was entering -his- domain.

_Brave face Tina._

"Tina Goldstein. Born August 1901. Parents died of Dragon Pox. Sister is Queenie Goldstein who works at the wand permit office. Jewish. Thunderbird. Auror. Single… for some time now. And not dead, for my sins and not for lack of effort"

Tina's face managed to remained neutral, of course he knew such basic details, they could all be found in her file. She straightened her shoulders and walked to sit opposite the table before him. The tightness in which she held the file she and Queenie compiled to her chest was the only indication she let slip that she was nervous.

"Grindelwald. I presume you know why I'm here?" Her voice remained cool and collected, so far so good at least.

"You found my pet. Does he yet live?"

The damn bastard still hadn't looked at her.

Tina's self control slipped just enough to spit out a "no thanks to you".

"My dear, if I wanted him dead his managled body would be spread out before my fireplace right now. Why destroy those who could do the job so much better themselves?" Finally his head craned up, not unlike a rusty machine slowly coming back to life after decades of unuse. His lips twisted into a crooked grin, teeth piercing out, eyeing her up as if she was a fawn coming closer to his waiting jowls.

"W-what do you mean?". _Dammit don't slip up this quickly._

"I don't need divination to see how this play ends. Graves is but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; A man full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." Each word slipped from his tongue with delicious venom that he relished every drop of.

"He will wake alone in a hospital bed. He will think he is still stuck with me and lash at the only people compelled to help him. When he comes out of it he will be paralyzed to his bed like a rabid dog. He will be cleared to go home where he will wallow in that pit of an apartment. The furniture won't be his, the clothes won't be his… the reflection in the mirror won't be his. The only comfort will be that the managled face is all the separation he will have from me-". Grindelwald's words were coming fast now, as if he was unable to real himself back.

"Some days he will wake and he won't know if he is truly himself or if this is a world of my creation. And there will be no one there to tell him either way. He will scream in that prison of his own making, at his weakness, his isolation, at his -betrayal-. He will scream for the woman he killed, the country he let down and the family whose name he ruined. No one will hear him though. He will go to work each day, cringe with each act of pity forced upon his person and tick those boxes one by one as his demons drag him further down. He will mess up. In time. And when he does those acts of pity will soon change to scorn and resentment. And he will come back to me, tail between his legs begging to be a useful tool once more to something better than the pitiful waste of flesh he has become. Or maybe he'll just slip away never to be seen from again. Perhaps I'll take his face once again and perform it all with so much more aplomb. Suspense is the spice of life is it not?"

Tina couldn't hear this anymore, "you don't kno-"

"But I do. I know him better than anyone. Better than everyone who kissed my feet in his absence. Kissed even more than that in the case of Abernathy". She didn't think it was possible for his smile to grow any bigger but it somehow kept managing to do just that. "Poor pet, always so oblivious. Wasn't aware of his own -needs-. Pretending he was a self sacrificing servant while using it to fuel his own ego. Want to know the best part, Porpetina Goldstein?"

She just sat and stared, trying to think of how to get this interrogation back on track. He gave her only a second to respond before continuing. "He came to me. He chose me over everything and everyone else. And then when his allegiance wavered all it took was a gentle touch and sweet nothings to bring him back to the fold".

She didn't want to know what he meant by that. "Then why did you hurt him?"

"Because I value loyalty of course!". Tina had expected her question to hit a sore point but Grindelwald and spoken with such energy and delighted the wards over his whole body tightened to keep him still. "To swear to uphold MACUSA law and then join a labeled terrorist-", he took evident pride in his title, "-that's just not on is it?"

Tina's indigent anger started to boil over her self imposed professionalism. How -dare- he torture Graves and then proceed to try and drag his name through the ground with him.

"You're lying, there is no way he would ever betray us! Graves devoted his life to MACUSA". She could feel her own disbelief in what she was saying growing with every word she uttered. She didn't know him... Maybe it was all a lie.

_But Queenie believed in him._

Grindelwald sat in silence as he let the doubt festering in her mind take its hold before finally venturing a response. "Ask him when he wakes and then get back to me, love".

Her hands clenched in her lap. She had gotten more out of him than anyone else but he was playing with her wholly. She had barely said a word while he was here and yet she felt at a loss for words. She breathed deeply to centre herself back to this dungeon. Being thrown into a lions den would have felt less intimidating.

"And… when will he wake? The healers think there's some spell keeping him comatose. That's why he was still alive when we found him, right? How do we remove it?"

Now there was something she didn't expect. Grindelwald looked vaguely surprised, before quickly returning to his imposing facade. "Jog my memory for me dear - what's the spell like?".

"Tell me where your followers are hiding and I'll tell you". She surprised herself with her quick response. She wasn't sure where she was going with it but at least she was on the offensive now.

"Ha!" Well that didn't last long, "A poor wager considering I'm trying to help you here".

"No you're not, you're playing with me and you're playing with Graves. Maybe you do want to see him broken but you would never leave a loose end just to -amuse- yourself with. You want to know about the spell or you would just leave him to die. So. Tell. Me".

Silence draped the room. Tina's breathes came in ragged puffs. She didn't let herself reflect on what she ultimatum she put in place least she back down now when she found its inevitable flaws. She couldn't tell if Grindelwald was seriously deliberating or just forcing her to fill in the silence to unravel it herself.

"Well, well-", his eyes pierce right through her now. For the first time it felt like he was conversing with her rather than at her. "I see why Graves tried so hard to protect you… There's a cell that meets behind 'The Toad and Niffler', the portrait of the Headless Vampire covers the entrance. Speak 'And from the shadows we serve' and it will open". Tina craned her eyebrow. "Don't blame me for my followers dramatic flare, love. Now tell me how you found our mutual friend".

So overcome with excitement at a possible breakthrough it took her a while to collect her thoughts. She told him of how she had found him, of the picture and the strange one room house, and described in detail the protruding blood vessels and the black ink which enveloped the whites of his eyes.

"I see…. It's a side effect of the Vaycusmartra. Don't see that around much. But it's your lucky day, yours truly happens to be an expert. Shall I remove it? He can't wake until it's gone".

 _Why are you asking me?_ She had never heard of a Vayicusmatti or whatever it was but if it was needed…."Of course".

"Say it. I want to hear you say it"

She couldn't tell now if she had got anything over the mad sorcerer sitting contentedly before her. His tone and manner showed none of the aggression that was in his words. There were too many unknowns, she would have to look into it first before making a decision. As if sensing her thoughts he continued.

"One time offer I'm afraid. Tick tick tick…."

"Okay okay", she was working on anxiety and adrenaline now over rational thought, "Can you remove the spell?"

Silence.

"Please".

A smile. And then a bang.

Grindelwald was at once standing before her, spent magic radiated from his body as the wards were broken one at a time. Bright lights of all different colours escaped from his body as though running scared. He looked like a reverent painting you would only find decorating a cathedral. He silently whispered a spell under his breathe.

"Forgive the light show but it would rather get in the way-" Aurors were starting to pile into the room, wands at the ready. Grindelwald made no attempt to defend himself from the overwhelming forces. Tina made no move to leave, frozen in place at the non-chalant use of such power as to overwhelm all the wards in a silent spell.

"You've been very helpful Tina Goldstein". She could swear he was grinning at her but his face remained almost neutral. How could that smug condescending bastard do that? The aurors wave their wands and forced him to his knees. Despite his compliance he started to scream as they showered offensive spells at him to keep him subdued. Through it all he kept his unwavering eyes on her.

She had to leave. This wasn't right. None of this was right. What had she done. Had she done anything?

She ran from the room and towards the wing where Graves lay. Despite it being so far away, _had it always been this far?_ , Grindelwald's wails as his body was wrecked with curses rung in her ears until a new sound overlapped into a cacophony of pained yells. The new, more desperate and wild scream, overwhelmed her ears and grew louder and more heart breakingly frenzied with each rushed step towards her goal. It was almost loud enough to overwhelm the litanies of _what have I done what have I done what have I done_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh goodness over 400 hits. Thank you to everyone reading, I know it's a hard sell, a slow burn story with an OC, so it means a lot knowing people are willing to give it a go.
> 
> Also I ship one-sided!AbnernathyxGraves until the day I die o/


	5. No other medicine, but only hope

Grindelwald was right. He did awake alone in a hospital bed. Tina swore to herself and to Graves that it was all he would be right about.

\----------------------------

The screams overwhelmed her ears. She couldn't think. She wasn't even sure if she was breathing right now. Seraphina and a number of aurors stood by the closed bay doors, her hair was out of place and she held her ribs as though her supporting arm was all that was keeping her upright. She must have been with Graves when… whatever this was started.

"Goldstein", the President huffed. Every breathe caught in her throat with a painful rasp. "What is going on?". Her eyes stared bullets into Tina, she was took aback by the appreciate the accusatory tone despite the certainty that she had caused this somehow.Had she really done the right thing?

"Grindelwald said it was a…", she looked down at her notebook, "Vaycusmartra spell. And that was what kept him alive but it must have also been what was keeping him unconscious". Tina's eyes searched Picquery's for any sign of recognition at the spell but if she knew it she was doing a good job of hiding it.

"So Grindelwald removed it?"

"He must have done, he managed to break through the wards and he did some spell or another-", Tina raised her voiced further to try and be heard over the sound of Graves' infernal yells, "-and that's when this started". She left out the part where she asked him to do this.

Seraphina winced more than nodded before she turned to the aurors surrounding them, shuffling awkwardly as they waited for orders. She raised her wand and with a flick of the wrist the doors were sealed with a beige tinted light which weaved itself into the splinters of the door until the whimpers and screams from inside grew faint before finally being blocked out completely. Somehow Tina found this even more troubling than being able to hear him thrash about.

"Put up the wards and keep up a 2 person guard at all times. Do not open the doors except to let the senior healers in unless I say otherwise. Anyone goes in and I want him petrified to his bed".

"Why not stupefy him ma'am? Put the poor sod out of his misery a bit" interrupted the auror who stood next to her. Tina recognised him as Assisyius, one of Graves' right hand men, probably why he was the only one confident enough to speak up right now. She remembered him as being loyal and almost kind to Graves, and even to her when she first started. Assyius always seemed to be tasked with more diplomatic and management matters due to his popularity and seemingly unending ability to smile through whole rants before closing them down with a single throwaway line.

They had lost contact after Tina's demotion but she sometimes found Assisiyius (Assisi as he kept insisting she call him) wandering around the permit office with nothing but some pastries which needed eating and some made up excuse as to why he was there. Fair to say she was rather fond of him.

"We've tried already, for whatever reason he's able to resist any spell to render him back asleep. He's attacking anyone who gets close to him-", Picquery returned her glance to the wider group, "-so extreme caution please from all of you. We need him as calm as possible to assess. Assisi, you're in charge of security detail".

"Ma'am". He bowed with reverence and a clamness that Tina could only envy. She had spent the whole debrief chewing on her nail, she was among her peers but her anxiety made her stick out like a sore thumb. She felt a hand snake it's way between her arm. She'd been so tense that it struggled to push it's way through before coming up around and bringing her arm into tight hug. It was Queenie, of course it was her, it was always her when she needed it. But her sister's barely stitched together weak smile gave her little comfort.

\-----------------------------

Three days had passed since her interrogation with Grindelwald. She hadn't slept for more than a few minutes at a time. Queenie, ever her support, kept the kettle warm as she once again made her sister's desk her home. The copious amounts of coffee kept her going through the report and research of the Vaycusmartra spell? curse? whatever it was she couldn't find a single mention of it in MACUSAs archive.

They both worried throughout their seemingly endless vigil about Graves. If he was still thrashing around like a man possessed (oh God was he possessed?), if he was being haunted with what happened or if Grindelwald was right and he had betrayed them all and was receiving some cruel punishment under the guise of justice. She had seen first hand what had happened to Grindelwald supporters.

She shook her head to wipe away the images. The lack of sleep was getting to her now. Just get the report done and then maybe they will assign her to something where she can help again. Tina could take comfort at least in the overheard words of disbelief and pride at her achievements that pricked her ears as she made her occasional ventures back to her office. Even the normally tight lipped, stone faced security guards gave a hushed, "there's that auror who got the low down on that prick's followers down at the Toad and Niffler". She walked a few inches taller after she heard that one.

\--------------

"Don't suppose you could point me towards the bathroom there, doll?"

"Oh!" Tina jumped awake with a start. Was she asleep? It was becoming a precarious line between the height of her waking consciousness and passed out cold ontop of her typewriter.

The smell of freshly baked hot crossed buns soon brought her back into the realm of the living.

"Assisi, I mean, sir, um"

He raised his hand to placate her struggles, "a gift Tina. Your sister told me you you were still here".

Tina's stomach responded before she did. He stood next to the corner of her desk. He only stood at 5'7, a second generation immigration from Italy. Before she got to know him she swore Graves kept him around just to make him look taller. Graves always resented the fact he dressed like a no-maj gangster but he worked a lot in their communities and had grown fond of their fashion and culture. And a bit too fond of their movies, judging by how he talked.

She took one of the buns gratefully and giggled for the first time in…. Merlin's beard how long had it been? 

"Still got a broken heart in every department there, _sir_?" Tina couldn't hold back the sarcasm at the end. Thankfully it only served to increase the size of his grin tenfold.

"Still working on those louts at the Australian consul but Captain Jassicari keeps a wandering eye for every time I drop my cigar so I like to keep my hand in".

"Hmm, is that what we're calling it these days?"

He only gave a quick laugh at that one to move the conversation on. His reputation as a ladies man almost matched his one as an auror, which spoke volumes to just how good he was. Anything less and he would be the laughing stock. That said, very few ever actually admitted to spending the night with him, Graves kept him on a tight leash and had been heard lecturing him on _proper behaviour_ for a man in his position. Of course Tina wasn't so innocent that she hadn't heard the rumors about _them_ , not that she ever gave them a second thought. People's lips were looser than Assisi's supposed sexual morals.

"So, how's it going?"

His faced soured slightly. "He's quieter now but he has his moments. He screams like a banshee when we have to do anything but the paralysis does the job".

"Has he said anything yet? Beyond… ya know".

"Some of it is understandable but it's all around telling people to leave him alone or just repeating 'no'. Still have no idea what that incantation was but his eyes are back to normal as is what's left of his skin". His eyes scanned over her, quickly picking up on her unease. "Don't worry doll-", his voice took a much softer tone, "he'll get there, he just needs time. In fact, I've an idea but I need you and your sister to do it".

He smiled at her with a conspiratorial grin which spoke that this was a plan just for them.

Without missing a beat Queenie's voice appeared from the door frame, as strong as Tina had ever heard. "Count us in".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so late, work has been rather busy. Not entirely happy with this chapter but I should be able to take more time with the next one and maybe reedit this. 
> 
> I'm dividing this up so Graves will finally start to be prominent in the next chapter and we'll have more action :3 and we have chapter titles now, huzzah!


	6. A minist'ring angel shall my sister be.

How do you calm a man who can't hear you, orientate himself, or understand that you are not indeed, the man who pushed him to the brink and dangled his feet over the edge?

She wished she had thought of the answer before she was alone with him.

  
"Graves?", she whispered through parched lips.

No response.

The whole room towered around her, a mausoleum erected for the still body whose eyes bared heavenward. Or at least they would if he opened them. Gothic decor of the converted wing infected the scene before her, making her uneasy. Graves looked ready to raise himself from his bed like Mary Shelley's Monster and lumber slowly towards her _closer… closer…. closer…._

She hadn't seen the man since Grindelwald had supposedly 'cured' him. He looked less otherworldly now, no longer a demon they had dragged kicking and screaming from the depths of Hades as what remained of his home clung desperately to his frame and borrowed it's way below the skin. Now he looked like a real physical being. No tricks, hell, almost no mystery to what had happened now. Just the simple fact that the man before her was broken. Beaten by spells, hexes and fists like a defenseless animal. Even in the safest place he could be he was tied down by a paralysis spell. How much longer was he doomed to be at the mercy of any and everyone?

She took a step closer. I'm safe became the mantra that fuelled her forward pace. He made no sound or movement as she loomed over him. She brought her hand tentatively up to hold his bandaged right hand. Where it once grossly twisted in on itself it now dangled haphazardly over the edge of the bed, less grotesque than it once was but the severed tendons still kept his fingers bent and rigid like a crow's claw. The bluish black venom which infected his veins and greyed out his skin had gone and the colour had at least partially returned to his cheeks. The bruises had started to heal but had gone a violent shade of purple and blue. They marred most of his face and limbs and even peppered the trunk of his body. Bandages covered his ribs where she presumed he had taken the worst of it. The bed sheet covered his modesty, not that she could bare to see any more.

Could he really have willingly walked into this? She pushed the thought aside. All her questions could wait until he knew that he was safe. After four months, she fantasised about just seeing him smile again.

Her hand tentatively raised to touch his fingers before curling around them like a pinky promise. _Promise me you'll get through this._ The black pools that had stolen the light from his eyes had disappeared but the left one now remained steadfastly shut, a nasty gash having stuck straight through and caved in the skin. The healers had stitched it closed, she knew it was for the best but now he really did look like a something from a nomaj horror book.

His head remained tilted back but she could see the precise moment he registered the touch and the one good eye opened and darted back and forth in panic. It scanned the ceiling briskly trying to find the source of the intrusion but as they found nothing it could only widen in horror and confusion. She craned her neck to catch his gaze but it did nothing to placate him. His pupil didn't even pause in its frenzy. His breathing grew quick and hollow, the fingers curled around hers twitched in vain to push her away, dispose of her, destroy her, just anything.

Tina remained steadfast waiting for him to calm. She lost all track of time. Her sister and Assisi had both popped their head in to give her a reassuring smile and to ask if she needed anything, more out of politeness than any belief that they could actually help. Her legs grew tired but eventually his eye closed, more out of pain from the light of the room. Months of being in a darkened room had every light source become a jabbing spike that pricked his cornea. His fingers were still tense and his breathe now came in more considered yet ragged intakes of air.

"Graves, its me Tina.… I work for you, remember? You're in the hospital. You're safe. I promise...um, Blink twice if you can hear me"

Nothing.

"Please?"

… It was worth a go.

Something was still bothering him. He wasnt settling any further, despite being paralyzed he was still on edge.

_Queenie, I need you._

  
\---------------------------------------------

She wasn't supposed to come in yet. The plan was to send in the familiar, non threatening Tina and once she had gained something resembling trust have Queenie see through the lowered barriers of his mind.

She stood shoulder to shoulder with her sister, eyes closed in deep concentration.

"He's not letting me in sis, every time I try to push through he panics and pushes back harder."

"Any idea what's stopping him coming too?"

"I can't get his thoughts but I can get his mood. He doesn't change when you speak… I… I don't think he can hear. But he's so scared Teenie, he musnt know he's here".

Tina nodded her thanks, not realising that she had been tenderly stroking Graves' wrist in reassurance as her sister spoke. She only noticed when she felt the indentation in his skin of where rope had rubbed and burned away at the struggling flesh.

"I'm going to try something, but I need you to keep Assisi away". Why she was being vague she didnt know as she felt Queenie float through her thoughts as she formulated the details of her plan. Or what passed for it.

Her sister looked at her with a mix of shock, concern and just a touch of pride. She squeezed Tina's arm in support and kept quiet in case their supervisor was listening in. The trust Queenie showed in her never ceased to amaze her. Assisi on the other hand would assuredly disapprove of this feckless stupidity, of her recklessness as she gripped his hand firmer and she banished the hex which kept him imprisoned to the bed. But she did it anyway.

Tina closed her eyes and braced his shoulders square to take the impact. Nothing was coming but she dared not move a muscle as though she was trying to lure in a spooked dear. The only evidence that her dispell had worked came when his hand grasped hers back.

Did… did it work?

She hesitated before finally biting the bullet and allowing the light into her eyes. She prayed that the miracle she expected before her would materialise and for a second she thought her prayers had been answered. She found his head tilted toward her, he was staring at her now. Finally he was seeing her. He almost imperceptibly shook with his whole body as though all the stress came flooding out with his exhalation. She couldn't make out his expression, it appeared blank but rather than the empty facade that she left when she closed her eyes, it now appeared that he wore all of his possible conflicting emotions on his face and blended it into a new, indiscernible mask.

Tina saw the opening and raised her other hand to stroke his cheek. She felt the muscles in his face twitch. He was murmering something that gave her terrible flashbacks to when she first found his rocking body tied to the chair.

"I can't hear you Graves"

His murmering got a little louder but his throat was parched and gravelly from its lack of use. His mouth struggled over what seemed to be the same word, getting used to the feeling of it on his tongue. Was… was this good or bad?

"Pardon?"

"Flip..endo"

  
\---------------------------------------------

It took the sound of some ribs cracking for Tina to realise what had happened. What remained of the table she was cannoned into dug into her back and legs to ensure that her next move was in haste. Her hand groped aimlessly behind her until she found the wall to help stable herself as she arose. This had all gone south as quickly as she had flown through the air.

Queenie was doing well to keep Assisi from barging in and 'saving' her for this long. She ignored the pain and clamoured forward, one arm bracing her rib cage up as if it would collapse in on itself with it. Her legs carried her forward without guidance from her brain. She didn't know why but she had to get back to his side, before the pain took her from consciousness, before he receeded back into himself, before she was taken away…. But through the haze of the pain she couldn't see him anymore.

She could hear him though.

"Please, pleasepleaseplease… don't….."

Tina steadied herself against his bed, covers strewn over the side where their once occupant now took refuge between it and the near wall. His knees were brought up to his face as he rocked into the corner, pressing as tightly to the wall as was possible. His hands covered the back of his neck and head as they hung between his legs. His sobs threatened to drag the same from her. He looked like a naughty toddler hiding from their parents, believing that if he couldn't see them, they couldn't see him in turn.

"No more no more. I can't take…."

Tina came in closer, kneeling before his feet so she stared face on to him. Her hands raised again to touch, to try and ground him. And again her back met the wall with force. And again she stood herself up and let her feet move herself forward to come back into his orbit. It was only as she got near enough that he could make out her calming reassurances did she feel Assisi grab at her wrist and yank her backwards.

"Let go! I'm nearly there!"

She yelled louder than she intended and Graves' head shot up along with his uninjured hand and sent both intruders back, with the superior providing some cushioning on the fall. It was her faithful sister who got her back to her feet.

"You're getting through to him sis, keep trying!"

She turned to Assisi who was still trying to get back to his feet. She smiled sweetly but her eyes attempted to stare him down, daring him to stop them now. The auror admitted defeat and returned the smile with just a nod of the head in a valiant attempt at keeping his composure. He returned to the foot of the door but remained inside, wand at the ready.

Tina pushed off her sister to try and walk under her own power. Her mind was too busy fending of the darkness that danced at the side of her eyes to come up with what to do next. _Am I really getting to him?_

"No idea". Queenie ducked her head under her sister's shoulder and brought her weight into her. She must have been even more unsteady than she realised. Her sister's admission that she lied should have broken down her confidence but she was beyond such contemplation.

Another pulsing force came before them both. Tina didn't flinch as it came head on. Assisi countered from the other side of the room and shielded them both. Another flash and this time the bed came with it, hurdling towards them and then to the far corner as another counter brought it down with ease.

He was getting tired now. He tried once more but without his wand he was impotent against his healthy second in command. He pushed himself forward onto his knees, attempting to rise before falling back onto his hands. Even though her hazy vision Tina could see how his arms trembled with the effort it took just to raise his upper body. He groped at the wall like Tina had before him. _Good, he's becoming aware of what's around him._

"You will not break me". Graves' voice was firm now. His head raised to meet her eyes for the first time since he first attacked her, and they struck reverential fear into her bones. She had seen him like this before, they were on a mission together, him cornered as she was held with a wand to her throat. It was only afterwards he had admitted he didn't know what he was doing but he had stared the gang down all the same.

He tried to stand straight but his strength failed him so he made do with resting his back against the wall. His bedraggled hair was plastered to his forehead with sweat. His wandering hand looking for anything that could be used to defend himself was the only sign that now gave away just how frightened he was.

"I am the Director of Magical Security. I will not bow to you".

A step forward. Queenie and Tina followed in kind, slowly now as not to set him into a rage. He stumbled but somehow kept his footing.

"I may have failed but I will not fail you. _This_. My life is my own.… And I die knowing I gave it for something greater"

They were less than 10ft from each other now. His lips moved as if he was continuing his speech but only parts now found form.

"For MACUSA… For the squib boy..."

A red light simmered from beneath his clutched fist.

"For Phina…."

It crackled now, growing to the point he could no longer keep his fist closed. Tina willed her sister to carry her on. Assisi started to clamour forward, wand pointed squarely at Graves' chest.

"For Ksana…"

A sob.

"For my men"

His hand came forward, stopped in its trajectory by a grip on his wrist. He was too weak to resist. Tina pulled it down to his side, ignoring the heat which emminated from it and burnt at her skin. She dropped her shoulder from her sister and instead brought it around his midriff and brought him close. He became stiff in her arms.

And like that all his barriers came falling down.

Queenie siezed the opportunity to delve into his mind and brush against his thoughts with a light touch to sooth them like lemon and honey. She saw through his eyes as the image of Grindelwald softened into her and her sister. The room came into focus and he finally became aware of just _how_ much pain he was in. But it was nothing compared to the feeling of relief, tainted only by the fear that this was another game. Queenie did her best to keep the doubt at bay. He deserved this one moment of peace.

The spell that had raged in his hand slowly dissipated along with the tension in his body. Tina brought his head into the crook of her neck, she wasn't sure who this comforted more but his breathing calmed and he embraced her in turn as they swayed in an uneasy alliance, propping each other up.

"Tina… you're alive… how…. what have you done?"


	7. What Dreams May Come (Interlude)

He was alone again. It was different this time, he felt peaceful in this slumber. Had he been uneasy before? He couldn't remember any specifics, just that this isolation felt different. In every direction he looked total darkness attacked him yet at once caressed his weightless form. There was no light yet his vision had never been so sharp. A rage built inside of him which fueled every fibre of his being with unfocused energy, prickling every atom as though their target lay on some sub particle level if only they could lure it out.

But yet he had never felt so serene. He didn't know where he ended and the darkness began. To feel so unfamiliar to himself was a relief, no longer an object in the world to bend to the whims of a cruel absent god, he was reality and all he had to do was simply exist.

"You look different".

 _Hm?_ He knew this voice. It split through the air and clawed at some far off corner of his mind where his memories should be.

"I always thought you were so much taller. You felt it".

_It's… you_

"You were unlike the others, you cared. But you never did, did you?"

_Credence…. You're alive_

He appeared then, just a few feet away. He stood in the clothes he used to wear, head turned towards his feet, what little he could see of his mouth moving at a different rate and pattern than his speech.

He should be scared, he should know this was not possible, this boy should be dead, but then who was he to say that of another?

"You said you would help Mr Graves. You said so many sweet things. That I was loved. Protected. Now look at me. Look what it brought me".

His head lifted to reveal the same black poison that had run through his own veins now corrupt and twist the boys face almost beyond recognition. Capillaries burst on his pale complexion to squeeze out the excess in ant like patterns that appeared to fester and ravish his flesh.

_No…. I never meant…._

Graves tried to speak, to yell and plead forgiveness and understanding, but the thoughts found no form. He couldn't feel what he would recognise as a body, he tried to grab the boy to make him stop but no movement came. He was looking upon him like a nomaj gazing longingly at a cinema screen, unable to do anything but let it all unfold before him.

"T-This is what it felt like for the Obscurus to take over. To give myself up like you wanted. How does it feel sir? Good isn't it? Like you always wanted for me."

_Did I? I can't remember…. Why can't I….?_

But he was right, it did.

"This is what he wants for you too. We could be so good together for him. He cares for us, unlike you, unlike all the others who abandoned us."

It would be so much easier wouldn't it? To achieve revolution through no effort at all. He could make amends then. He could get revenge.

The boy just stood there, a quirk of a grin appearing on his face. It looked so out of place here. Through the haze of his thoughts it finally echoed, _was I always so easily seduced?_

It was Grindelwald's voice that answered him.

"Always, my pet"

  
\------------------------------------------------

His eyes shot open with a start. At first he presumed the horror which awoke him would have also sent him upright, sweating and screaming as he came back to reality, but instead he felt not unakin to a cat recovering from a mid afternoon nap. His heart beat too fast but it always did when he awoke, a side effect of his months of captivity. Always waking with the far off hope he was no longer in that basement.

And now his prayers had been answered and he wouldn't let himself believe it. It had to be a trick to break him. To give it all back to him and then take it from his failing grasp once again. The worst part was, if this was all an illusion, it probably would be the last nail in the coffin. _How many times had I said that one?_

 _Just relax and assess the situation_ , he reminded himself. His head was tilted up. It looked like his ceiling, certainly it had the same mold in the corner. His joints ached, particularly his hand but there was a superficial numbness to it all. He turned to look at it to assess the damage and how he could compensate for it if he had to make a quick escape. Instead his gaze focused on another's hand slowly stroking his own between thumb and forefinger. He followed the arm up, eyes only able to move slowly even in the dim light.

"Phina?"

She startled, she had been, as ever, reading through reports in her other hand and had not notice him stir. Ever the politician, she composed herself quickly and gave him the reassuring smile she had practiced on so many employees before him. Even through his still adjusting vision he could see the glimmer that maybe this was genuine. That she was genuine. Surely Grindelwald could not imitate the way the only person he could consider a friend looked at him?

"Welcome back Mr Graves." The formality of her tone made him stiffen as the doubt reentered every pore but she continued before he could start his interrogation. "Before you say anything please know we're being watched. For transparency's sake you understand, can't give anyone the impression the President is giving a suspect the chance to collaborate his testimony". She eyed him with a steady gaze before tapping three times on his palm.

Truth. It meant she was telling the truth. Insolence welled up in him, that he was a -suspect-, after all he had gone through. But it was protocol. He knew that, he would do the same. Cold reason was needed in these matters so he bowed to it like he always did when he stood on the other side of the law.

But that was for later, the present truth staring at him with barely contained relief, was that this wonderful, infuriating woman was really her.

"Why would I be a suspect?"

His fingers moved upon their own whim but with enough willpower he bade them to stroke her thrice in return on the back of the hand. _I understand_. They had developed this as teenagers at illvermony, mostly to communicate their disgust at those around them in a more… diplomatic manner. As time went on they could reproduce the same sensations with wandless magic to pass on secret messages during cabinet meetings and tonlwt each other in on their bluffs. Not that they didn't use it to bitch about those around them still. The vice really was a bore.

"Grindelwald has testified that you came willingly before he... tortured you-", no use beating around the bush, "-for betraying MACUSA". Graves gave a humourless chuckle. It hurt his ribs. "I know we can't take his word for it but people won't trust you until they know what happened and what role you played".

"Being chained to a wall and…", his new found anger lost its trajectory as he couldn't bring himself to describe even the most obvious details of what happened. _She's helping you here_ , he reminded himself. "…its not exactly much of a role is it?"

"Wall?" He gave her a questioning raise of the eyebrow, not understanding her hesitation. "You were found tied to a chair in a small hutt. We never found any suspended chains". Three more taps to tell him this was the truth.

He suddenly felt very uneasy. "I…I was either chained to the wall or floor depending on what was going on. And it wasn't a hutt - my family house had a secret basement built when I was young. I was there, I would know it anywhere".

Seraphinas hand clasped his, not a message, just trying to calm him before he worked himself up for what was about to come. "We'll look into it later, get some rest now. The council has decided that we need to gain a testimony from the legilemens before we can do much else, then I will tell you everything. They needn't get anything for that the events _leading_ up to your disappearance". Her ring finger clasped his pinky, _I promise._

Graves did his best to control the sharp exhale that ragged through his body. He nodded his slow assent. It had to be done. So what if he didn't want it? So what if it invaded him and bared his weakest moment for all to see? It could hardly break him anymore than he was. His feelings didn't matter now, he was a liability to the President. He knew that even if the legilimens found no blame there would be some that relished a reason to drag his name through the swamp. All he could do was cooperate and not bring Phina down with him. Just distance himself ever further from her until he was a lone target. If the universe was kind maybe he could be a useful tool before he was ruined. Maybe even get the revenge he was deserved.

"Whatever the council wills ma'am"

Her hand returned a ' _thank you_ ' and a ' _I promise to protect you'_ which had got so much usage in their early careers. He merely responded with a ' _please don't_ ' before feigning sleep.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Onto part 2 of the story! We're getting there slowly but surely. Thanks as ever for reading x
> 
> Next chapter shall have Tina and Graves reunion and an appearance from ol' Newt before we change it all up a bit.


	8. Interred in their bones

You're awake!"

They had said he had suffered a crisis of health and been near death so she mustn't, under any circumstances, disturb him or those involved in his care. It would be very bad form didn't she know. But two days had now passed and she couldn't let his soft whimpers linger in her mind as the last image she got of the man. _What have you done?_

She thought she had killed him but now he sat before her on his bed, hair in dissaray but wearing a shirt and trousers in an attempt to regain his previous dignity. He became uncomfortable under Tina's shocked gaze and looked pained with every move to straighten himself upright. His brow was laced with sweat, he was pale, only brightened by his tiny reassuring smile. Tina didn't move, still taken aback that finally, _finally_ , the real Percival Graves was before her.

Unable to bear her stare any longer he turned to look at his feet. Was it shame she could read on his face?

Three figures crowded him, she recognised Assisi instantly who sat next to him on the bed. A woman, about the age of Mr Graves sat directly opposite him, only a foot or so between them. Tina didn't recognise her but she wore the uniform of the internal investigations team, more than likely an empathe then.

The final figure gave an air of import, she knew him only from the oil paintings that lined the wall of his department. The reclusive head of internal investigations. She had known them all to intimately after she intervened with Credence. They were about as popular as an army of dementors, but she had to admit they were ruthlessly efficient at weeding out the recent surge of corruption.

The man, Ptolemy Gauntus, oldest of the prestigious family, was a war hero through and through. His reputation was the only evidence of any fighting however, his skin was immaculate (though pale) for a man approaching his seventies. He was a rare breed, a vampire with political clout. Graves had worked with him during the war before quickly exceeding him in the ranks. Rumour had it Ptolemy had always eyed the Head of Magical Security but MACUSA's progressive ideals only went so far and so he had no choice but to stand back as his former assistant took his hallowed crown. He was a handsome man but the sideways look he gave the younger man as he sat, hoping desperately that the ground would swallow him whole, contorted his features with a bitter masochistic joy.

So this was an interrogation then. Graves seemed to her to be taking it in his stride, especially for a man she thought near death, but the worried expression on Assisi's face gave her second thoughts. There were empty glasses and plates strewn across the table tops and the empathe had nearly finished her note pad in transcribing what she had found - so they had been here a while then. The empathe pressed her pen impatiently against her book.

"I..I um, just wanted to check on how you were doing I didn't realise you were busy"

Graves turned his head up again and gave a weak gesture of thanks. Did he know she was the one who found him? A selfish part of her hoped he didn't so she could see the reaction when she told him. He would be so proud!

Ptolemy made to admonish the young auror for her interruption but Assisi got in there first.

"Just a while longer I'm afraid-", he made sure not to say Tina's name so the Director couldn't file a complaint so easily later, "-but when we're done I'll come find you".

She didn't overstay her welcome.

\-----------------------------------------

It was another day until Assisi came to find her. Finally he located Tina and her sister in the cafeteria, coffees in hand as always. He found it rather hard to picture them without it. Assisi felt rather amiss to disturb their peace but needs must.

"Ah! There's my favourite girls"

Queenie giggled. Tina rolled her eyes.

"You always know just what most girls love to hear", Queenie greeted, not without some heavily veiled sarcasm. Tina shot her a smile, her little sis was growing up.

"This better be good news to interrupt our morning coffee sir". Tina still wasn't sure what side Assissyius was playing, he appeared as the shoulder for Graves to lean on the other day, and indeed he had served him faithfully as far as she knew, but surely he could have postponed the cross examination until he was well?

"As if I ever disappoint a lady".

Queenie perked up, "That's not what Maragos from the Permit Office said". Assisi shot her a pointed look which clearly meant she landed a bullseye. She did her best to suppress her laughter but as it hissed from between her teeth she took refuge behind her cup.

"Is your… interrogation over with?" Tina didn't see much use in hiding her indignation. To put him under such suspicion after all he had been through?

But what if they're right?

"Aye, we're done. Cleared of all possible charges, naturally". He took his place opposite Tina so he could speak in more hushed tones.

"And how is he?"

"Tired mostly, that's about all he's giving away. But you know him, he'll be back to work as soon as he's fit".

Tina wasn't too sure about that one. He hadn't seen him when she first found him. Was he truly so strong that he could go through all of that and continue as if nothing had occurred? Was he really the man she had idolised him to be? The bitterness when she saw him as a mere _human_ for the first time still danced in her mouth, but all the more reason to rinse it out by seeing him again. Maybe that's all it would take for him to retake that position on his podium. But thinking of him on that bed, overshadowed by people who should be his inferiors, not even able to make eye contact with _her_ … was the shiny facade really all he was?

"Does he remember much of what happened?"

"Not the faintest idea I'm afraid, the empathe struggled enough to get the events leading up to it, he was struggling so much."

It was Queenie's turn to become suspicious. "So you don't know if Graves turned coat during his capture? Not exactly beyond all doubt is it?"

Assisyius gritted his teeth through tight lipped smile. He hand danced across the table as though he was typing out his response. "The President didn't wish us to invade his privacy any more than was required. We did as much". He settled, clearly happy with the line he had chosen, "-poor dog deserves that much".

"I just hope it's enough to stop the rumours"

"How was he taken? Do we think a mole could be involved?" Tina had heard the rumors of course, Graves was respected, but not popular whereas Assisi was both. The talk of Graves being a betrayer, a man who held MACUSA in such high standard he couldn't bear what it was becoming and took action. A man so prim and proper that he was seduced by a powerful wizard who whispered sweet nothings and knew all of his desires better than he knew them himself. A man who just wanted to get his jollies on by destroying all those around him. She had heard it all, and found it hard to eliminate any of them with confidence.

"Afraid that's confidential until the President gives the go ahead-", her look of disappointment made him hesitate as to draw out the moment, "-buuut, she has allowed me to give you an audience with him. I'm sure he'd be glad to see you". First time his smile looked almost genuine, she thought.

\------------------------------------------

Percival Graves was wearing the same shirt and trousers as before. The shirt he always wore. It had taken nearly all the pride he had to be assisted with such a menial task. He looked dirtier, the healers had tried to bathe him but if he couldn't do it himself he surely wasn't going to let others do it to him. He had managed to comb his hair through gritted teeth making him look more like himself. He still needed a shave but the idea of letting anyone so near him with a blade… he couldn't even picture the thing without a dreadful shudder wrecking his body.

The interrogation had been everything he imagined and worse. His adult life had been a carefully played game of acting the part. The untouchable man who could destroy you without a second thought. And now there were people who had seen -that- to know for sure that the emperor had no clothes. Indeed, maybe he was not the emperor at all but just a madman with a polyjuice potion.

To think he had given up so much for this country. He didn't need to hear them talk to know what they were saying about him. He knew them all well enough to know. He had given up his fiancee, any chance of happiness outside of his work, damned his soul and nearly given his life for these ingrates, and who of any of then could be said to be worthy of his damn sacrifice? Even now he was getting ready to go back - from physical torture, to the emotional torture of that bloody empathe savaging his last refuge, and now the public crucifixion surely to come. At least Ptolemy will enjoy the show.

As he sat there, thoughts spiralling out of control, his emotions finally laying claim to his reason and sending his fist against the tabletop before him, again and again, the same words rung in his head. _There's a beauty to all of this. In everything. It's just not made for people like us. We were not made for life._

 _People like us_. People like him she meant. Ksana saw it. Even in him. He punched harder to get her voice out of his head. He had promised that he would join her, even when he couldn't see it for himself he would protect what she loved.Even if it meant he had to go out there and face them all again as they slung their arrows. Face _him_  again.

His fists opened and threw the table against the door, picking up the pieces before they hit the ground and slamming them back again and again. But the voice wouldn't stop, to remember how she talked about MACUSA, about the potential of nomajs. To hear her was to believe her. And to believe meant he had to act, and nothing sounded more vile to his ears.

He went to throw what was left of the table one last time but his hand siezed up, twitching incessantly with the last of his power. He moved it with its lesser, damaged brother and placed it to his mouth as he tempted to still it. Tears of... Frustration? Fear? threatened to break through, but he had done enough of that over the last few months to let such a shameful act continue.

But damn why wouldn't it stop? He bit lightly on one finger to keep it in place to little effect.

"Here let me help". Fingers entwined with his and moved them to his lap and held it firm. Before he saw whom the voice belonged to he glanced the table reappearing, undamaged before him.

"Ti-Goldstein…. You're… alive!" He smiled. He actually smiled, no grinned! So far it was going much better than she expected. His damaged hand raised to meet her shoulder before he realised what he had done and moved it back down to her hand which cradled his other.

"Of course, why would you think otherwise?"

His expression darkened and his smile grew slowly faint. His hand shook again.

"Grindelwald said… he said you had died on an operation". It was a lie of course. He had seen her. Seen her lying in a pool of her own blood in the sewers of New York as the rats started to gather and Grindelwald, ever present in his visions, standing over her as his foot increased the pressure on her throat. He pushes the image from his mind and focused back on the woman before him, very much alive, very much safe. She looked so distraught now, he had to rectify it, had to see her smile again.

"Ms Goldstein, what are you doing here?"

"Assissyius said you could have visitors so my sister made the coffee as you like it, can't imagine it's so good in a hospital. Oh! And we got you some things from the bakery… just eat what you can of course but"

"Tina, please". He had enough control now to at least squeeze her hand to stop her. He was finding it difficult to come down from his previous rage but he couldn't let his employee see anything more than what she possibly already had. "Back up a second, I'm missing something here. Why exactly are _you_ here?"

Her mind grasped for any good starting point for all that had happened. God, where to begin? When -did- it all begin?

So she just started talking and didn't stop. She told him of Credence, of Newt, and the confrontation in the subway. He sat quietly through her tale, eyes closed in concentration and just in simple pleasure of hearing her speak again. Of her stumbled, nervous mutterings. He realised how she over emphasised the people she had met, she always did remember faces better than he could, but the way she talked about Newt, about the nomaj baker, the creatures they chased, it was with a warmth he didn't realise she possessed. And the way she described Credence, she noted his mannerisms, his personality, he recognised all of it but had never noticed it for himself.

"I… I knew Credence", he finally interrupted. "Is he alive too?" a tinge of hope lifting his voice.

She hesitated, she was bad at difficult conversations at the best of times but this… she had to take a deep breathe to keep the quiver from her voice. "He… he was the Obscurus, he tore a part half of the suburbs before they killed him… I'm sorry I tried to get through to him but I couldn't…."

"So he found out?"

"You knew?"

He nodded once, looking straight ahead at some unseen point on the far wall. "He thought it was the girl didn't he? I thought that maybe he wouldn't realise and so… guess it's by the by now". He went silent and lowered his head past his shoulders. He looked small again.

She continued on in an attempt to distract him, about her investigation, of the beaucracy she came up against and how she had found him. She smoothed over the details of the condition she found him in and the conversation with Grindelwald afterwards, just that she found him tied to a chair and infected with some spell that kept him alive and how after interrogating Grindelwald he'd removed it. If he knew better he was doing a good job in hiding it but she couldn't help but note his jaw set and grind together the more she went on. Not that it stopped her, she had waited so long to tell him all that had happened she couldn't have stopped if she tried

"And that's about it, Assisyrius must just be being nice let me come here but-"

"That's enough Tina, that will be all". He sounded exhausted.

"Sir?"

"I'm tired Goldstein, I'll see you at work"

She sat there unmoving for a moment as he removed his hands finally. Was that it? After all of that… he was just brushing her off? Not even a thank you for saving him or confronting Grindelwald to heal him?

His eyebrow quirked up in a silent, why are you still here? But she couldn't leave yet.

"What happened sir? Why did all of this have to happen?"

His voice took on a more cautionary edge, "Know your place".

"I think I do, I lead this investigation and now I'm being shut out. I lost a friend because of all this and I think I deserve to know why". She wasn't sure where she found the strength to say that but now that she did, she didn't exactly regret it, even as Graves' gaze turned predatorial.

"What do you want Goldstein? Did you think it was strange you would get such a case, that maybe there was a reason they didn't want me found?" You're losing it Graves, calm the fuck down. But he couldn't, there was so much wrong with all of this. Every word came through gritted teeth, it wasn't her fault, but yet it was. He could still remember his dreams, where he was married, had the perfect family life and ran his department with the deftest touch. It all felt so real. The first time in so long he felt at peace and she had made the devil bring him kicking and screaming back down to hell.

Tina's hands fidgetted in her lap as tears pricked at her eyes, "When you woke, you asked what had I done. What did you mean?"

"I…… don't know". He slowly raised himself off the bed, grasping at his ribs as he bent forward. Even now Tina helped him up. _Why did it have to be you?_

He let out a sigh of exasperation and effort as he finally stood. "It was probably just delirium, but i'm alive so… thank you". He had to all but spit out his gratitude. "I'll explain it all in time but not now".

"That's what you always say when you fop me off"

"I know"

She wasn't going to accept that one. "The spell… that kept you alive, he called it Vaycusmartra… I couldn't find any reference to it-"

"V-Vaycusmartra? You're sure?" Before she could calculate what he had said she had clamoured back towards her. Not trusting her voice she nodded.

Graves good hand swept through his hair as he clawed at his scalp and started to pace. "What did he say about it?"

"Nothing really, just that he could remove it. You… started screaming after and attacking anyone who came near you. I think you thought you were still with him".

His mind was working overtime now. Every possible explanation kept leading to the same place but he wouldn't let himself believe it. Grindelwald was still playing him… was she making this up? If she was working for him and he had some moles it would explain why she got so much freedom in her investigation.

"And you kept that from me why?"

"I'm sorry, it's just with all you've been through…"

"I'm not a child to be coddled Goldstein". The anger was flaring back up again. He respected her, she was one of the few people who was easy to talk to, to trust to be on his side, and now he could add her to the line up of people who looked down upon him like a fragile vase. "And I'm still your boss, so don't start playing games, understand?"

"I'm not the one playing games though"

"Don't get smart."

"And you don't get to be like-", she waved her hands towards him, struggling to find the right words, " _this_ , not after all I put my sister through to find you. I'm sorry for what you went through. I'm sorry that you're now stuck putting back the pieces of Grindelwald's mess, but don't you dare push me away. I'm one of the few people still batting for you but I'm not going to follow you blindly".

"You always used too".

She had no answer to that. Neither did he. He had never lost control like this, why now? _Why can't I control myself?_ And so he kept going.

"If you care so much, how come you never noticed when I was replaced by that son of a bitch!? You think I care if you're on my side? All that means is that I'll drag you down with me. You don't get it Tina, he doesn't give up. If I'm alive then it's because he wills it. And when he doesn't he'll destroy me and everyone stupid enough to stick with me, whether it's you, Picquery or my entire department. So. Leave. It."

He finally caught his breathe. From pacing around her like a bassalisk stalking its prey, the realisation of all he said finally hitting him as a freight train. His one good eye was bulging wide in horror at the way Tina was trying to resist the urge to either fight back or bolt for the door.

"Im sorry… I'm so sorry Tina I…Im not some puzzle worth solving"

He wanted to explain. How he wanted to tell her what it all meant. But he couldn't, he couldn't destroy her, not after he thought her dead. He couldn't go through that again. He recoiled back towards the wall to give her some space and unimpeded access to the door.

She spoke with a clamness which surprised her, but she meant it. She wasn't going to run from him now. "I understand Graves. Or at least I want to. Let me do anything to help".

She got another smile from him although the emotion and intention behind it she couldn't decipher. He wasn't sure what it was either as the serenity washed over him at her words. He knew, this one act of mercy and forgiveness would be his refuge. _It's just not made for people like us. But_ it was for people like her. Here in this room, where she had let him rage would be his sanctuary before he went down the road which would finally finish him. He couldn't lose control like this again but he could go knowing Picquery would have someone to rely on when he was gone.

This was enough. She was enough.

"Before I go, can I ask you something?" He grunted his assent, still stuck in his thoughts. "When there was the tribunal after my incident with Credence.. Um, was that you?" If he wasn't going to open up about what had happened maybe she can at least get an answer to this.

"Hm? Yes, it was". He had to hide how much it still stung that she needed to ask that.

 _So it was really him_ … She got up to meet him and  he turned his head up to meet er at eye level. Graves suddenly started to panic as she got closer but she moved into his body and embraced him, arms wrapping around his malnourished frame. She remembered that smile he gave her that provided her with so much confidence after that dreadful ordeal. How much strength he gave her. Now it was her turn to do the same.

He felt so stiff and uncomfortable. Her arms pressed too tightly around his bruised ribs and neck. Her youthful complexion stood in stark contrast to his own broken skin. This was breaking so many regulations….

"I'm fine Tina, you don't need to do this"

"If you were fine you'd have pushed me off by now"

She had him there. He had to admit that he could get used to it, but even now the ghost of a kick and punch kept him on edge.

"Tell your sister thanks for the coffee, okay? You don't have to worry about me, both of you".

"Just watch us try"

"Tina I mean it"

She let go to cradle his hand, once again shaking between her own. This was the man she had known and for once she saw something beyond the act. And that was okay. He wasn't the untouchable God. Maybe he wasn't even a nice man. But even with all the secrets separating them both, she had seen Percival Graves, if just for a moment. And that was enough.

"So do I". Tina whispered it like it was the most solemn promise.

He froze once more. Gallert had done the same when he had finally broken, a cruel mockery of intimacy as he cracked under his touch. He remembered how his breathe smelt as he shushed his whimpers, how the cold air made his body press further into Grindelwald for respite. "You will die, just a little". A most solemn promise whispered into the crown of his head.

By the time he dragged himself away from the memory, he was standing alone in the room. But he had enough to keep going now. And so did she.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Won't lie, I'm not really happy with the prose here, it's just too wordy and jumbled not keeping to one perspective. Once you get 4k words into a chapter that was supposed to cover more ground, you just sort of have to give up. Should read better next time o/ sorry about that x


	9. Look Upon My Works Ye Mighty

May 29 1927

I hope you like the diary I got sis, cost the day's wage but it's charmed so only those whom I grant permission to can open it. Grindelwald's people have been picking up the pace and I know they're keeping you busy so I wanted to keep you informed of how Mr Graves was doing. I miss you Teenie but I know you're doing great! Mum and dad will be so proud.

Came down to see you yesterday but you were out on another mission. Work with anyone cool? Tertullian was saying how much he enjoyed doing the Riverside bust with you. You're going up in the world!

I think even old Grumps is proud of you. I told him about you leading teams now and he already knew! You said he was acting weird the other day when you saw him, he hasn't been very different with me. He looks shattered, but he's been catching up on all thats been going on. Just because he's in hospital doesn't mean I can't bring him his coffee and newspaper every morning! Assisi was kind enough to give me clearance.

Oh and I told him you said hi. He seemed rather taken aback but he sends you his best. I'll try and write again tomorrow, don't forget to let me know if anything exciting happens. I'll leave this in the safe behind mum's portrait x

Love you sis!  
Queenie  
(P.S. Supper is in the oven)

\------------

May 30 1927

Hey! Looks like I just missed you again yesterday so I'll use this again. Same old same old and work. Abernathy was there when I went to give Graves his Joe, poor thing was pestering him like a mother hen! Think Graves was going to shoot him a crutio spell if he fluffed that pillow one more time. I don't think he's doing quite as well as I thought, I could see it with Abernathy and with the nurses, but every time they get close he flinches away. I try to give him his space when I go which seems to help. Come to think of it I may leave the chair near his bed a bit further away to drop the hint.

He's still staying in his bed, bless him. Think his yelling session with you put too much strain on his body so he's back on strict bedrest! The bruises have gone a horrible colour but I guess that means they're healing OK? The nurse came to change the cast on his hand so I couldn't stay long, I tried to ask how he was doing but he just deflected it all back. Men!

I know you hate me doing it but I did try and get a quick read on his emotions but he was blocking it all back. I thought he looked distracted but given how tough his defences were it seems like he was focused more on not giving anything up. If he's like this around me I hate to think what he went through having that interrogator trounce through all of that. He's such a private man….

I wonder what he likes. Stewing in that bedroom all day and just reading reports can't be good for him. After all he's been through he needs time away from work! Do you know what he likes that I can bring him? If you dont manage to get back to me tonight I'll have no choice but to read my poetry collection at him.

Oh and while you're at it give me your order for Jacob's tomorrow. He's got those cinnamon buns in this month! I'll bring one for Graves.

Ta  
Queenie x

(P.S. seems you liked the supper BUT CLEAN UP NEXT TIME)

\------------  
May 30 1927  
Hello Queenie,

Sorry I've been so busy. I keep getting caught with paperwork. I appreciate all you're doing, you wouldn't guess how chaotic things have been with how well you're keeping the apartment together. And supper was great, sorry for the mess I got called out in an emergency. It's all good now though.

Graves likes Illvermony's Quidditch team, baked goods and the music of Bach. A part from that I can't be of much help. Let me know if you try your poetry idea and I'll organise an escort incase he takes rather violently to it x

Seems like he's doing better but I'm still worried. Don't tell him whatever you do. I'm sure getting back to work will help.

Sorry this is so short but I need to reacquaint myself with a bed,  
Tina

(PS a few wholemeals would be nice thanks)  
\-----------

The morning had almost been tolerable up until this point. The point of waking that was. His sleep had become dreamless again which was a sweet relief from the daily torment of the Barebone boy, of Ksana mocking him, of Graves twisting the knife in deeper and deeper…

He slept so much these days and every time he woke he mentally prepared himself to see Grindelwald's visage leering down at him, the darkness of the cellar framing his body as the glint of his wand grew fierce. Graves finally felt like he was beginning to ground himself, that he was alive, this was real and that he was -safe-. But this morning there was someone looking down on him. Ptolemy. It had taken all the will he had not to recoil from him and scream for help.

"You look like you fought with the devil Mr Graves"

"And you look like you whored yourself out to him"

Ptolemy was dressed in his old military garb that he wore every day to work. He had moved the chair up to sit right by Graves' head. He was too close. He was much too close. Graves tried to sit up to to gett some distance, to get some semblance of being the vampire's superior back, but as he twisted to get his arm under him pain shot up his side and forced him back onto the mattress.

"Tough words for an invalid. Tougher for a man on death's row". Ptolemy kept his face stoic as Graves searched for his telltale sadistic enjoyment. Somehow this felt even worse, like he was being lectured to. He could take being played with, he knew how to counter that.

"You found me innocent did you not? As far as the President and the council are concerned, you and I have no more business together".

Ptolemy minutely gritted his teeth together. "I found no conclusive evidence. Without access to all of your memories you'll never be fully cleared of all doubt. But that's by the by isn't it dear boy?"

Graves didn't like where this was going.

"You slipped. Just for a moment. The empathe couldn't make sense of it but it makes sense now. When Grindelwald attacked you, in your own home of all places, he said this is how she must have felt. That's when she saw it, you and a young woman".

"Transference of memories, real or fake, at… traumatic moments is not uncommon. And as per procedure, not admissible evidence". He was grasping now. Now he really was getting played, but for what end? He didn't want to deny or admit anything. He needed all options available. Did Picquery know of this? Maybe it was just a bluff

The pain had started to subside so he shuffled once again and this time managed to push himself up and sit face to face with his once again interrogator. Ptolemy's stoicism finally cracked. He was enjoying this, even something as simple as Graves fighting to just sit straight was getting him off. Maybe his instincts that were now screaming at him to shut up and run to Picquery were right, maybe he was still chained in that damn cellar. The way Ptolemy took his delight in every wince of pain and yet tempered it with the even more hateful _pity,_  it hit him with the shame that only Grindelwald could instill in him. Gellert had gotten out and done the same to Ptolemy that he had done to him. Only he could look at him like this.

But he knew. He almost wanted it to be Grindelwald but this was his once mentor, perhaps at a push something approaching a friend. He had taught him so much, he _owed_  him so much and now he toyed with him, even now. Maybe Grindelwald had done something to piss him off further but Graves could see in how he looked at him that this was something he had waited _years_ for.

Ptolemy's voice shrunk into a whisper in response. "Still hide behind rules and regulations don't you boy? You think they keep you safe, give you permission to do as you will but what are they but the justification of those who would hold onto power until their dying breathe?"

"Without them we have chaos, and people like Grindelwald in charge. They keep people safe and us in check"

"Laws by wise men do that, not those by charlatans. You wipe the memories of those who cross you and could execute me without trial." His gaze dropped from his superior as his hands fussed with his one of his medals, "I…. I hoped you were going to change all of this. All those kids died for MACUSA and every day we let this go on we betray them".

"These have been turbulent times, once the threat of Grindelwald and his supporters has gone we can look at reforming the law but we can't do that as these snakes are within our midst and would use it for their own ends".

The venom seeped back into Ptolemys cracking voice, "Ksana wouldn't have made such weak excuses".

"But you have me, not her. So I would advise that you keep your opinions to yourself least you find the council aware of your opinion of them". He wasn't sure how but he felt like he was getting the upper hand of this conversation. Did he always rely on threats for that?

Ptolemy sat in silence as he deliberated his response, anger bubbling in his face as he tried to get this conversation back on his terms. Graves saw his opportunity to strike again and took it with the practice ruthlessness he had so missed.

"You come in here and interrupt your Director's treatment to play games and doubt the foundations of the country you're sworn to protect? I thought you smarter than this, _boy_. However would it look if the President knew?"

Bullseye. Graves could see what Ptolemy saw now in inducing such fear in him. The Goldstein girl ( _I'll remember her name eventually_ ) would come soon and provide him with that liquid heaven she did so well. It was nice to have that illusion of normalcy even if it was now from a hospital bed. But more importantly she would be his excuse to dismiss him like a scorned lackey. Five minutes to nine. She always came on the dot. Not much longer.

"Ha…hahahhaha…"

He was… laughing? How… why… God where had he slipped up?

"Oh Percival.. Hah… Such threats… tell me, who is left to believe you? You've been in this room too long. You think anyone would trust you? The council has declared you innocent, yes, but as far as the average Joe is concerned, they are in your pocket, as is Picquery. Maybe Grindelwald took over your identity against your will but he sentenced a tourist and a former auror to their deaths without trial and still no one suspected it was anything other than you". He leaned in closer towards Graves, his tongue wiped over his front teeth as the hot moist air pricked at Graves' skin. He could forget at times that Ptolemy was a blood sucking creature but as his hand clasped around his neck to lift his chin up and meet his gaze once more, the realisation settled deep in his bones. _Don't panic Graves… don't panic…_

"Y-you mean Tina?" The vampire's finger was absentmindedly soothing the skin over Graves' artery now. He leaned forward to speak directly into his ear, so close that his tongue threatened to dive into the shell of his lobe.

"I believe that's her name, yes. Oh come now, dont look so down, if a vampire can make it this far, I'm sure even you can keep your job. You're just going to have to be more careful".

Graves let out a dry humourless huff of a laugh. "Giving me advice again Ptolemy?"

"Old habits die hard. I'm a slave to my biology after all". A pause. And then he let him go. Graves kept his neck still. _Dont back down_ …

"Are you afraid of me Graves?"

"No".

"Not even knowing what I am?"

"I've seen you resist your urges even amidst a bay of wounded soldiers spilling their guts"

"Then why are you shaking?"

Had he been? He lost his nerve and saw his hands in his lap clenching up his trousers. He let go, disgusted at himself for not noticing but his hands shook further. He attempted to still his week hand by shoving it into his trouser pocket, the other hand he floundered with, trying to find where to keep it still before he hid it from view by smoothing the back of his neck.

"It's not to do with you"

"Thinking of Grindelwald? It's a fair guess. I touched you so you thought of him. Gellert mentions a woman as you get restrained and you think of Ksana. It's natural."

Graves' voice sounded so tired now, just two more minutes and she would be here. "You're reaching again." He sighed, how had he got so bad at this. "Just speak bluntly Ptolemy and get it over with"

"When Grindelwald came up behind you your mind drifted to you doing the same. The difference was you had a hold of a young woman, arm around her neck. Our empathe glosed over it as unimportant but she did note that she was crying, and then she started screaming before you jumped back to your fight"

"So you think I killed her? You don't even know if it was her".

"She said it was Central Park in the snow, that's where I found you both in the morning".

He had him at a loss there. He always presumed his aurors had found him that morning. Ksana had been Ptolemy's assistant once upon a time, back when he was a lecturer of MACUSA History at the university. Graves had never known him well during his studies but this was before the war. When he had been assigned to him he had never mentioned being the person who found Percival's unconscious body and Ksana's….

"You found us…? I never…Then you know I was attacked too".

Ptolemy went to stand, he was getting restless. He had pictured having this conversation for so long. Graces was grasping at straws but he wasn't close enough to finally spilling the truth. He should have been more pliant than this, more broken down. All he could do was keep pushing his advantage, "She could have fought back. You were always so vague in your testimony. She wouldn't have gone down so easily to a pack of hoodlums. Neither would you, let alone together".

"The case is closed Ptolemy. I'm sorry for your loss but you have to accept it". He was calming down, he couldn't tell if it was resignation or a more quiet confidence but Graves' superiority was winning out again. Like it always did.

"I'm not accusing you of murder yet, but I want to know what happened to her. She was -my- responsibility."

"It wasn't a suggestion. Accept it. Move on, if you want a job in the morning".

Graves always won. Even when he first worked for him, he could never win an argument with him, if he was lucky he would come around to his way of thinking and think it his own original idea. He realised then he was never cut out to play these games with him. Biology aside, Graves' would always be his Director. And he would always be on the outside looking in.

"I'm old Percival, too old. This isn't the government I wanted to work for and maybe I'm just out of touch. If that's the case then so be it, but I must know. I'll keep quiet, I've had my fun and I'll bow out without saying a word, but please, just tell me what happened to her".

He was almost pleading now. To hell with dignity, he would gladly face the pitying, triumphant, almost disgusted face his protégé was giving him for the rest of his days if he could just _know_. Even the bitter resentment that once consumed him was slipping away from him as his life had once done when his sire first bit down on his neck. He couldn't read him, Graves just remained silent. He was either mocking him or deliberating and he stood with nothing but meagre hope that he was wrong and that Graves knew mercy and it was the latter.

The clock rung for nine o'clock and still he waited. Ptolemy shot him a look, _don't you dare tease me,_ but Graves' just gazed back. _Try me._

_You'll be doing me a favour,_ he wanted to add.

And so he waited again-

"Morning sir! Oh Mr Gauntus, sorry if I'd have known you were here I'd have made you some coffee too".

Graves smiled, a toothy grin giving away none of what had just occurred. Ptolemy's stomach dropped. Graves heaved himself from his bed, still with some difficulty, but he walked straight past the man as he went to graciously accept the tray with his coffee, newspaper (now opened to the sport section, displaying Illvermonys win in the finals), and a croissant.

"Thanks doll. Mr Gauntus was just on his way out"

He turned to give him a clear passage to the door, he's rubbing it in now. It was no good, he couldnt beat it out of him with the girl here. The smug bastard, always one step ahead.

"As you say Mr Graves. I look forward to seeing you back out there. I'll leave you to your maid". He could have thought of something more scathing but words were failing him. He felt numb. He had wasted it.

Ptolemy gave a small bow to the young lady and left without another word. He just hoped Graves hadn't seen him fight back the tears.

\------------------------------

June 2 1927

Hi sis! Thanks for the dinner yesterday, was nice having the catch-up! Assisi came by this morning and told Graves he had the clear to go home! They just had to finish their investigation of the apartment and he's good to go. He's still so shaky on his feet so it seems too quick to me, after all he's gone through? But he seemed excited at least. Haven't seen him so happy since that morning with Ptolemy. (Still can't believe he called me a maid!)

I'm thinking maybe we should drop off some stuff when he goes home? Like a house warming present! We can keep an eye on him then too.

Forgot to mention but he liked Jacob's cooking (who doesn't?). I went by today and he gave me a loaf for free for being a good customer. Im sure he must remember me somewhere in there. I'm taking your advice though and taking it slow x he's so cute, he's already planning on a new shop! We'll have to go to both now x

  
\------------------------------

  
June 3 1927

Hello Queenie,  
Work is still busy but it seems like they've gone underground now so hopefully I should be home more. I'm sure Graves appreciates what you're doing for him but don't tire yourself out, it's hard enough without having a teenager dote on him. He's got a silly sense of pride to him but the housewarming sounds like a good idea. I'm rather worried too about how he's going to be at home, it sounds like he thinks it's a fix all. Hope Grindelwald didn't mess with it too much.

Its my turn for good news by the way! Look what came by owl post this morning.

[Attached note]

Hello Tina and Queenie,

Hope you're all well! I'm fine although the centaurs down here in Chile are giving it a damn good go to change that. I miss you both, as does Pickett although he won't admit it. I got word of how well you're doing Tina, to my shame I mentioned your name to a nice conservationist to get a discount on Wampus bait. Hope you don't mind.

My book is coming on and I'm hoping to get some editing done this month and so was wondering if you perhaps like to give it a read? Only if you two want to. I understand if you're busy, I can ask someone else. If you're okay with it, I have some amazing creatures to show you.

Yours faithfully,  
Newt Scamander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! Work has been pretty busy. 
> 
> Can't believe I've already passed 20K words, thanks to everyone for sticking with it and to everyone who's left a comment or kudos. It makes my day... I'm pretty sad like that.


	10. Perchance to Dream

It all felt off.

This apartment had never felt like home, but now, it stood entombed in dust and the scent of a hundred of his colleagues. Graves traced his finger along the mantelpiece, following the ghost of a trail that Tina had left not so long ago. The evidence of their violation upon his personal space infected every item in his possession. Percival Graves was a man of order. Order kept things running smoothly. It was as things -should- be.

And now nothing was right. He had touched it. He had drunk from his whiskey, sat in his chair, slept in his bed. He would have to remove it all in time, but now he just needed to sleep. Seraphina had insisted on coming with him, gently implying that it was a step taken in haste, and maybe, as loathed as he was to admit it, she was right. But that was by the by, he couldn't go any longer without facing what he had let happen. It had proven impossible to face his colleagues as they attempted to protect him from the past few months. Even getting a newspaper had proven impossible until the Goldstein girl had visited regularly. Now he had to prepare.

It still hadn't fully sunk in. That man, that monster, had taken everything he built, every thing he was, and twisted it into a shallow imitation. The relationships he had formed had been exploited for Grindelwald's gain, all the power he had amassed turned against itself… When he returned to work, what would even be left waiting for him?

To think his torturer had thought so little of him that he could commit such treason and no one would question his identity. His fists slammed into the wooden shelf that hung over his fireplace. The pressure of Grindelwald's foot clamped down on his throat. He had been a toy and then what? They hadn't found him where he had been held... The Vaycusmartra…. He only knew one woman who knew that spell, but Ksana was dead. He had seen her….

Maybe she wasn't… maybe she wanted revenge. Maybe he had seen and spoken to her… _Oh god, when was it so hot in here?_ Graves let the fireplace take his weight now, the room was spinning without him. He had thought about it of course, that she was involved, lying in bed at night and letting it fester and rot. But if she was alive, - _she can't be you idiot-,_ then it didn't matter. He had chosen his path.

It would just be nice to see her one last time.

 _Dammit, get yourself together_. He tried to push the thought from his mind but it grasped at the edges of his thoughts and clawed its way back to the forefront. He couldn't let such fantasy take his attention away. But it did. And it kept doing it. Maybe she had rescued him. Maybe Grindelwald had sold him off when he lost his use.

Or maybe she was just dead and Grindelwald was mocking him even now.

The realisation felt like a cold knife cutting through his dizziness. The muscles of his stomach tensed. The sharp bite of reality upon his senses was virtually always met with a crushing pain to his abdomen. The ghost of Grindelwald's nail trickled down his front and clinically traced every tendon.

 _Breathe_ …

Just breathe…

He went to carefully manoeuvre himself to the bathroom, his head was starting to clear now and the layout of the room was becoming ever more familiar. It wasn't that different, not really. It hadn't changed much in years.

He bowed his head over the sink and forcibly heaved his chest to expel the lump that had lodged itself in the pit of his stomach. But nothing came up. He hadn't eaten all day. He tried again. Nothing.

Graves tentatively lifted his face to the mirror so that he could look for any signs of success. The visage that looked back at him was so pale, with deep scars dancing upon the surface into a twisted choreography that mapped every feature with some distinctive blemish. But he didn't look like that. That wasn't his face.

His broken hand raised and scratched at his injured eye. Grindelwald didn't look like this, there was no imperfections to his skin, but still it was his face looking back at him. Smiling now. How he wished he looked like that fucker now. So much more confident, in control. Such a better him than he was. A man who looked like he could keep MACUSA safe.

He couldn't take it. With a strangled cry he thrust his good arm into the mirror, shattering his sneering reflection into a thousand tiny pieces. Each piece fell as if in slow motion, catching the light in their downwards decent, and still he caught a glimpse of himself in each individual scrap of the wreckage. He flailed again, hand glowing with a bright light that hissed and crackled louder than his own ragged breathes.

The shards of glass now fell like snow onto the bathroom floor, red blood tainting their otherwise pure reflections. His footprints broke through the almost tranquil haze that surrounded him and dragged the charred remains onto the rug on the living room. The magic coursed through his veins and drove him on. A distant siren of a passing ambulance didn't register anymore, nor did the crashing of books and silverware.

Fuck him. Fuck Grindelwald and everything that man touched. He couldn't stay here. He couldn't be inside Grindelwald's home any longer, be around his things. It barely took five minutes for him to take away his life again.

_Dammit Graves, stop being so childish._

"Sir?"

Why couldn't he control his emotions anymore? He had kept his nerve in the war and now to be brought down by one man…

A hand grabbed at his wrist, silencing the thoughts in an instant.

"Sir, it's okay shh shhh".

It was the face of the woman whom he swore he could fight for just a short time ago. How quickly he lost his nerve indeed.

"You should have told me you were going home today". Tina smiled sweetly, trying to plaster over the cracks of bewilderment and fear as her former mentor tried to regain his composure.

"It's not a big deal Tina. I'll save the lecture on breaking and entering an officals home for when we get back to the office, eh?" His hands shuffled into his trousers in an attempt to keep his tremor hidden.

"Look forward to it Mr Graves". Her smile was disarming. He braced himself for the questions which never came. She simply nodded that she understood and that was enough.

Graves let out a sharp outtake of breathe he hadn't realised he was keeping in. "Why are you here?"

"House warming gift, Madame Picquery told me you were going home. So um.. Surprise". Tina held out a bag of Jacob's baking, "Sorry it's not very creative, more warning next time".

He took it gratefully and took a peek inside before setting them down. She knew what his favourites were then. "That's very kind Tina, please don't let me take up your time." She swayed on the balls of her feet and let her eyes drift over the room. He could see her examining what had happened. Graves had to admit, he was proud of how far she had come and the seemingly excellent auror she had become in his absence, but in that moment he wished desperately that she would switch off. "Oh, don't worry about it".

She remained in place and looked towards the bathroom. She must have seen the remnants of his wall mirror but her expression gave nothing away. "If that's all Goldstein…"

"Sorry, I'm under strict instruction from Queenie that I'm not allowed to leave until you agree to come to dinner tomorrow".

Graves flinched at that. _Don't let me bring you down with me Tin_ a. "People will talk-"

Tina raised her hands defensively,"Oh no no, there's no ulterior motives behind-"

"I know, but others don't."

"But I'm lead investigator on your case, surely it's to be expected we'd spend time together?"

"At work, yes"

"Then come over for lunch, I've got untold hours in time owing so I'll take it off and it'll look like business".

" Tina…."

"No buts. Queenie will make me sleep on a park bench if you don't come. And then Picquery will fire me. And then Assisi will kill me".

His eyes flashed with annoyance, "you've all been talking?"

"Of course. Look, I know you don't want to talk about what's happened and that's fine. We won't force you but we're all worried and you're going to have to get used to that. That and my cooking."

Tina let her serious demeanour drop and replaced it with a teasing grin. Graves' shoulders dropped, the energy to argue with her again left him. He couldn't keep doing this, he had to pick his battles better now he was still recovering.

"Okay, okay. Twelve work? I've got to see Picquery in the afternoon so it can't be long-"

"Perfect! I'll let Queenie know!"

She was gone before he could change his mind.

  
\------------------

Graves couldn't bare sleeping on the same bed as Gellert so he brought a pillow onto the sofa and a spare sheet from the cupboard. Sleep took its time in coming, mind racing with thoughts that didn't stay long enough for him to deliberate on before being replaced with enough. Eventually however the rhythm of his anxieties and memories melded into a hypnotic mantra that sent him into troubled unconsciousness.

\------------------

_Scream for me love_

_Fuck you_

_Now now, no need for that. Tell me where the Obscurus is and I'll let this be quick_

_You'll have to try harder you mo-_

  
_I didn't want to have to do that Percival, but you leave me with such little choice. After all I have done for you Director Graves…._

He awoke with a start. The covers had twisted away from him and onto the floor below, making him shiver with the cold breeze. Why is it cold?

Graves managed to settle his heart rate with surprising effectiveness. Maybe he was getting better with dealing with this after all. He lifted himself forward and made his way shakily to his feet and followed the cold air to the open window. I didn't open it though-

There was a solitary note plastered to the inside of the window frame. His apartment was protected though. He had guards on the street and curses at all possible entrances… how had he slept through an intruder? He grabbed the note and glicked his wrist with a small luminous spell.

_Dear Director,_

_Your debts will be paid in full soon. We know what you have done. We know what you are planning. We know how you will die._

_Gellert Grindelwald will see you shortly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for how long this took. To be honest this is probably closer to the time frame most chapters will start to come out, life be busy v.v
> 
> As ever, thank you so much for your patience!


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